


Love is a long Road

by TeeTime



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: F/F, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2020-02-07 03:27:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18612178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeeTime/pseuds/TeeTime
Summary: How life went on for Juliantina after Valentina confessed her love for Juliana on public Television.(It's an attempt at writing the spin-off we all wanted for sure)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys :)  
> This is my attempt at writing something nice for Juliantina, but I have to note a few quick things down beforehand:
> 
> 1\. English is not my first language, so there will definitely be some mistakes, I hope they won't be too major though.  
> 2\. I do not speak spanish at all, I won't use it heavily therefore. But I think bringing some spanish into the story makes the charm.  
> 3\. I haven't been writing for a very long time, so I might not be this fast with updating, because I use to twist things a lot before I am satisfied with it at all. 
> 
> If you think something is totally off for a character or I make some major mistakes in terms of language, just tell me and I will try to correct. I will also try to build up a story, so you can give me some recommendations, if you want to, but I can't promise to write them in.  
> Well, that's it with the boring part. I hope you enjoy the story.

Juliana was very nervous to see Valentina after everything that happened since they saw each other the last time. The Interview, Chino kind of accepting them being together. Juliana knew that Valentinas Life was still a mess, with the recent murder of Lucia; confessing her love for another woman on public television; her sister Eva probably going to prison; her father being alive somehow with this whole, weird transmigration thing. She finally managed to calm herself down a little from the excitement and put up the courage to press the doorbell. The door opened shortly after, Juliana was looking into the eyes of Chino, or Jacobo or Leon, she still didn't know what to call him when she spoke or even thought about him. As soon as their eyes met, Juliana looked down, she was still extremely uncomfortable around him, or more around his body. In the end, she knew it wasn't Chino, but she couldn't help it.

“Oh, hola. Juliana” his voice was calm, kind and it had a really sad tone to it.

“Hola, is Valentina home?” she awkwardly smiled at him, still avoiding to look into his eyes directly, while waiting for his answer.  
“Yeah, Yeah. Come in!” he welcomed her into the house, stepping aside to let her enter. “Gracias” Juliana politely said. “She's in her room.” Leon explained, receiving a nod from Juliana. “Is it ok if I go....see her?” Juliana asked nervously, the whole situation was awkwardly tense and the girl wanted nothing more, than to end it fast and finally go on to see Valentina. “Si, Sure. You can go.” the man replied looking at her with a friendly smile , which made her even more nervous.

Juliana left out a deep breath, while she walked up the stairs, trying to shake off her nervousness, before seeing her friend. The door to Valentinas room was only half closed and the tall girl was laying on her bed, her phone in her hands looking at something on the screen. 

It's been an hour since she came home from the interview and Valentina didn't quite know what to do with herself. Maybe she should call Juliana, the other girl probably haven't even seen the interview, she thought. But what would she even say to her and what if Juliana was angry about Valentina confessing her love for her on public television? She had to see her and they had to talk about everything in person. 

Valentina didn't even notice her visitor, she was absolutely caught up in her thoughts, until Juliana lightly knocked against the door frame.  
Valentina turned around expecting to see Silvina or her father. Her eyes brightened up as soon as she saw, who was standing there. “Juls!” she said, jumping off her bed to pull the shorter girl into a tight hug right away.  
“Hey” Juliana replied with a big smile, returning the hug. “What are you doing here?” Valentina asked surprised, as they slowly separated from each other. 

“I just had to see you....And I think we need to talk about some things right?” Juliana seemed serious and a bit tense to Valentina, she just hoped it wasn't a bad sign. 

“Yes. Come in, sit down!” Valentina said nervous about finally sorting everything out with Juliana, or at least hopefully doing so. She closed the door, to give them some privacy, while Juliana took a seat on the chair next to the bed, where Valentina herself sat down. Valentina was both happy to see the girl she loved, but also worried about what she wanted to talk about so desperately, that she came to see her without bothering to call her in advance. Valentina was still terrified about the pure possibility of being rejected by her in the end. 

“I have to tell you....” “We need to talk about...” They both started at the same time, leaving them both laughing, which calmed Valentina a bit down for a moment. “You go first” Juliana said grinning, as she looked down. 

“Gracias, but no. You go first this time.” Valentina demanded. “Eh..Ok” Juliana thought about what to start with Chino or the Interview. Nervously she rubbed her palms up and down her thighs. Until Valentina took both of her hands in hers, a clear attempt to calm her nervousness down. 

“I saw the Interview” Juliana said suddenly. Valentina sighed and covered her eyes with one hand for a second, clearly embarrassed, before putting her hand back into Julianas.

“You saw it....and what did you think of it?” Now Valentina seemed to be the more nervous one all of a sudden. “Well..I was really surprised. You didn't exactly warn me about it. And you said you didn't want to make our relationship public so...what made you change your mind?” Juliana answered very curiously. “But your not angry?” Valentina checked back before answering her question. “Que? No. Why would I be angry?” Juliana asked confused. Valentina broke eye contact looking down on their intertwined fingers instead of Julianas face.

“The truth is I didn't had that much of a choice, after the scandal around Eva, the Carvajal group...they lost a lot of reputation and Renata told me, that other magazines bought personal information about our family to damage our company even further.”

Valentina looked up to Julianas eyes, she still focused on what Valentina was telling her. “They wanted to make our relationship public to damage the company. I didn't want to lie about us. And I didn't want even one person more to use our relationship against us. I just....want to be with you”.

It made Juliana truly happy to hear that from Val. She played with the fingers of the other one, thinking about the whole thing. “But who told them?” Juliana asked seriously wondering. Valentina shrugged: “Could have been anyone, they probably paid them a lot of money. I guess it was someone from the university...maybe even Nayeli” Valentina didn't seem as bothered about it as Juliana would have expected. “That's awful. I'm so sorry, Val.” she said meaning it. 

“Well, sadly it's not surprising at all to me anymore. Not after Sergio had told her about us and she told everyone, acting like...” Valentina looked to the ceiling, as if she searched for the right words there. “I'm sorry about that!” Juliana apologized again, squeezing Valentinas hands lightly to show her support. “No. You don't have to be, I don't even want any of these fake friends anymore. I mean what's the point, if they don't even support you or care for you. I guess, I'd rather be alone.” 

Juliana didn't know what to say, she wanted to support Valentina, show her that she wasn't alone after all. It was just hard for her to find the right words, since Valentina seemed to have lost a lot more than her since they met and Juliana felt guilty about it. She herself didn't have any friends she could have lost to begin with and Lupita reacted badly to it at first, but she didn't exactly threat them and she even truly supports their relationship now. But Valentina lost her friends, was stalked by an outraged ex boyfriend who got violent against her, was treated badly by her fellow students, had to fight her own sister over their relationship and was even attacked by Lupita, the worst was probably that Lucho was killed though, especially since Valentina thought it was her fault this happened to him. 

“Juliana?” Valentina asked frowning at the other girl, gently touching her cheek. “Estas bien?”. 

Juliana sighed, realizing she got totally caught up in her thoughts. “Sorry, I'm good. I was just thinking.” she shook her head to get back into the present. “What about?” Valentina asked, her voice was comforting yet concerned. Juliana let out a deep breath, then shook her head again.

”Everything, but nothing really. I still have a hard time wrapping my head around all of this.” 

Valentina nodded understandingly. “Me too. Everything has just been too much lately. Honestly, I'm exhausted.” Valentina confessed with a tired laugh. Juliana looked at Vale with a soft and loving expression. She tucked a strand of Valentinas bright hair behind her ear, before caressing her cheek with her thumb. Valentina closed her eyes, leaning into the touch of her counterpart. 

“I've really missed you” Valentina said with her eyes still closed. Then she opened them again, as much as she wanted to kiss Juliana now, hug her and just be close to her, Valentina knew they had to talk about things first.  
“We need to talk about Chino.” the blue eyed girl stated with a serious tone now. “I know you said you didn't care about his threats but I'm still worried about you” 

“Val..” Juliana started, but Valentina cut her off. 

“I'm gonna tell dad to hire all the security he can find and....” 

“No,Val...” Juliana tried to interrupt her, but the other girl seemed really stressed about it and she was totally hyper right now.

“I messed up with the interview...I'm sorry...I just wanted everyone to know, so we could be together...I...” Valentina elaborated. 

There was no way she would stop talking anyway soon. So Juliana did the only thing, she knew would make the other girl shut up. She bend forward and kissed her. Valentina reacted surprised, but she replied the kiss immediately. When Juliana tried to pull back after a couple of seconds, Valentina held her tight and whispered “not yet” into their kiss. Juliana didn't argue against it, she had missed Valentina terribly as well. Even when the kiss got more demanding, they didn't stop. Valentina reached out for her counterpart and her fingers met the fabric of Julianas Jacket, which she used to pull her closer, while she herself slowly moved back to the headboard. 

They were totally caught up in the heat of the moment, it was just like that time in the car, neither of them wanted to stop at this point. Valentina used her grip on Julianas Jacket to pull it off. The slight pull, led to them separating their lips for a moment, only to crush them together again right away. Valentina didn't waste any time, her hands already busy with opening the button of Julianas Jeans. Then suddenly Juliana pulled back from her. “Hey, Val. Slow down” she said slightly out of breath, stopping the other girl's hands in their movement.

“I'm sorry” Valentina apologized instantly, she covered her eyes with one hand to hide her expression from her counterpart. Valentina felt so stupid. They were not together, they hadn't even finished talking, yet she already tried to make it sexual. What if Juliana would tell her she didn't want to be with her. The younger girl hadn't said a word about it yet, if she wanted to be with her or rather not. The older girl snorted lightly, then she laughed it wasn't a real laugh of happiness, more a frustrated laugh. “I'm so stupid.” she stated, still covering her eyes with one hand. Juliana shook her head, what Val obviously couldn't see. 

“No, Val. Look at me!” Juliana implored, already pulling her opposites hand down. Valentina was clearly upset, you could see it on the way she bit on the inside of her cheek and how her eyes were already shimmery with tears. Julianas heart broke a little bit at seeing Valentina look like she had just rejected her, which was totally not her intention at all. 

“I want to do it, ok? I really do. But let us finish talking first for once, ok?” It was unusual for Juliana to be the one, who seeks a conversation, but she wanted everything to be finally settled now. She wanted them to be sure about everything at least this once. Valentinas expression softened at her words and she nodded.  
“Is it about Chino?” Valentina wondered, it was the first thing that came to her mind, considering where they had left of. Juliana just nodded quietly, trying to figure out how to explain it to her. “Well, we met with him and he....had a change of heart apparently. I don't know what exactly made him change his mind, but he said he won't cause any trouble for my mom and I anymore. He said I could love who I wanted. Chino's not threatening us anymore.” 

“Do you believe him?” Valentina asked in a skeptic tone.

“I don't know. I really hope he means it. And he even said he wants to try to be a good father now, which honestly is a little creeping me out. But I guess we can at least try that. It would be so nice to not always have to fight someone for once” Juliana explained with a sigh.

The last part made Valentina feel sorry for Juliana, because she sounded really exhausted herself. It was not new to either of them, there was always someone telling them what to do or what not to do. Someone they had to hide from or someone who treated them badly for what they felt for one another. Maybe that was finally over now.  
“Just be careful with him ok? Promise me!” Valentina begged, reaching out for Julianas hand. There was honest concern in her eyes. The older girl had only met Chino once, but she had heard enough about him to be worried when her love was around him. 

“I promise” Juliana answered. She smiled while she cupped her lovers face with her free hand. Valentina let out a heavy breath. “So everything is fine now?” the blue eyed girl asked.  
The other one just shrugged, “I don't know. I guess.” 

“And what about us?” Valentina carefully questioned. 

“What do you mean? If we are together now?” Juliana seemed to be unsure, so Valentina quickly jumped to say something.

“Well I'd really like you to officially be my girlfriend, if you'd still want that of course” 

Juliana couldn't help but smile. “Of course I want to, I told you, what I feel for you hasn't changed.” 

Valentina smiled widely, before she subconsciously bit her lip and nodded. Her eyes wandered down to Julianas lips. Juliana moved closer to her, resting their foreheads against each other. She could feel Valentinas breath on her skin. It was extremely calming to sit there just like that for a few moments.  
“That's a relief otherwise this would have been really awkward” Valentina chuckled after a minute of silence.

“I really love you, you know that?” Juliana confessed, she deeply looked into Valentinas eyes as she said it.

“I'd hoped you do. And I love you too.” Valentina answered, before they united into a passionate kiss again.


	2. Nightmares and unspoken words

Juliana felt his breath on her skin, his hard grip on her chin, holding it painfully up, so she had to look into his eyes. His breath smelled of cigarettes and alcohol and its heat seemed to burn her skin,where it touched it. The man was angry and he spat as he talked. She said something to him, that made him scream at her and punch the wall right next to her head. There was nothing good to be seen in his eyes, only anger and even more threats unspoken than told.

Everything was kind of blurred out and she couldn't really hear what anyone was saying there, not even what she had said to the man herself. Her breaths were going fast and short, her body was strained and her head felt heavy with a headache. 

She heard a voice talk to her in a concerned but also calming tone. But it was none of the men surrounding her. At first the words sounded distant as if they came from another world, until they became clearer and clearer, slowly pulling her out of this place.  
Then finally she opened her eyes wide, forcing her breathing to stop. Someone held her very firmly, Juliana instantly pushed against the arms holding her, trying to get away from the other person. 

“Shhhh....hey..Juls...Tranquila..I'ts me..It's Val. Relax” Valentina said and loosened her hold, to give Juliana some space, if she wanted to move away. Juliana started to gasp for air, since she was holding her breath for a while now. The girl had trouble catching her breath, it felt like she just ran a marathon. The only movement her body was able of making, seemed to be the terrible quivering, which she couldn't stop. 

“It's ok, you'll be fine. You only had a bad dream.” Valentina assured her, meanwhile she gently caressed Juliana's arm and moved a little closer to her again. It scared her to see Juliana in such a state, mostly because she wasn't sure what she could do about it. Should she pull her closer or should she rather give her some space to calm down on her own. Valentina herself always felt better, when Juliana was close to her, holding her tight and reassuring her with her voice.

Juliana closed her eyes to calm herself down, which only made her flinch at the pictures in her imagination and she opened them back up again right away. She felt as if her memories drew her more in, than the present did. Even though those memories were a place, the girl would have never returned to voluntarily and the present was everything she wanted right now.

“It was just a dream. You are safe. Nothing's gonna happen to you.” Valentina whispered, she hoped it would calm her girlfriend down. There wasn't much else Valentina could do at this point than talk to Juliana and show her she was safe and loved. Juliana seemed to respond to Vales voice, 'cause she appeared to be shaking a little less and also breathed a little bit calmer. Therefore Valentina figured she should go on with talking. “I'm right here. No one's gonna hurt you”. They were laying like this, for what felt like an eternity, with Valentina whispering quiet reassurances in her girlfriends ear, until she finally started to calm down more and more. 

“Come here, turn around” Valentina begged her, after a while and pulled slightly at her arm, so they would be laying face to face. Juliana did as her girlfriend demanded, feeling the gaze of the other girl on her face, right after she had turned around. She couldn't bring up the courage to look into those blue eyes, instead she closed her eyes and clenched her teeth really hard, to keep herself in the present. Juliana didn't know what scared her more, what she might see in Valentinas eyes, or what Valentina might see in her eyes, once they would look at each other.

Valentina tenderly stroke back a strand of hair out of Juliana's face. It worried her even more, that Juliana didn't look at her, again trying to keep her problems to herself. Her hand was softly tracing over her lovers jawline. She felt the pressure in her jaw, on her skin, as she touched it.

“Hey, mirame, por favor” Valentina's voice was really quiet, as if she didn't want to startle the younger girl. Juliana took a deep breath and opened her eyes, very hesitantly she looked up into Valentina's eyes. Even in the dark of the room, you could see them shine bright blue. 

“Are you alright?” Valentina asked concerned, while she looked deeply into Juliana's eyes. The look in the dark brown eyes was familiar to Valentina, she had seen it before on Juliana, though very rarely. It was fear, it was the same look, she had on her face, when her mother had got abducted. Valentina waited patiently on an answer, or on anything Juliana might want to say, but there wasn't anything. The younger girl remained silent, only looking back at her counterpart quietly. Then finally she nodded, it was only a very small movement, it wasn't convincing at all.

Valentina couldn't shake the feeling off, that this wasn't the first time, this had happened to her girlfriend. And she wondered about how many times Juliana might have woken up like this, alone in her room, with no one to calm her down, or tell her it was just a nightmare. It made Valentina sick, to think about Juliana being on her own, when she was feeling scared and was hurting.

“I'm here. Talk to me” Valentina suggested, her hands still trying to put her girlfriend at ease with gentle and loving touches. Juliana slowly shook her head.

“I can't” The voice of the brown eyed girl was barely more than a whisper. “I'm sorry” she added, as her eyes built up with tears.

Then Juliana suddenly pulled herself out of Valentina's arms and sat up on the edge of the bed. “What are you doing?” Valentina asked sounding irritated, half of her already fearing, that Juliana wanted to leave. “I need fresh air...I'll go outside for a few minutes” Juliana answered still slightly shaking. 

“Ok, I'll come with you” Valentina immediately said, sitting up too. 

“No, Val. You don't have to. I'll be right back.” Juliana argued, but Valentina didn't care. It wouldn't be the first time, Juliana would leave her without saying goodbye. And she surely wouldn't let her go outside, alone in the middle of the night.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Valentina left her some space and waited at the door, next to the pool, which led to the yard, but she refused to let Juliana out of sight for just a second. The eyes of the taller girl were fixated on the back of her girlfriend, as she stood outside. 

The cold night air was extremely pleasant. It comforted her, calmed her down and also numbed the pain in her veins. Juliana took deep breaths and closed her eyes. It was still pretty dark, the most light came either from the house behind her or the silver glowing moon on the deep blue night sky. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest, she could feel her skin cooling down pretty quickly, since she didn't put a jacket on. She didn't know how long she stood there like that, when she heard Valentina say:  
“Juls, it's cold . Come back in, por favor.” Juliana knew it made no sense to argue with Valentina, at least not when she was worried, so she turned around and walked back inside to the other girl.  
“Are you feeling better?” Valentina asked, analyzing her face with her eyes.  
Juliana nodded in silence, which didn't seem to convince her counterpart at all. 

“You're cold” Valentina said, gently rubbing up and down Juliana's arms to warm her up. 

“Do you want to go back to bed or I could make you some tea or something?” 

Valentina was obviously still concerned and not sure what to do about the situation. If it was on her to decide, she would want them to talk about what this was about. Although she was almost sure, that this was about Alacran. But she wasn't the one to decide and she couldn't make Juliana talk about it, if she really didn't want to. Valentina was terrified about what Alacran and his men might have done to Juliana. Moreover her fears were only worsened by the fact, that Juliana did not say a single word about what had happened to her there. 

“No, I'm good. Let's go back to bed” Juliana answered, giving Valentina a tired smile. 

“Val, are you ok?” Juliana asked all of a sudden, scrunching her brows in confusion. Valentina let out a mix between a laugh and a snort. 

“You're asking me if I'm ok?” Valentina replied in disbelieve. 

“Well, you're crying” Juliana pointed out and gently brushed her thumb over Vals cheek, where a few tears had already made there way down. Valentina instantly rubbed her hand over her cheeks, to stop herself from crying. The next thing she did,was simply pulling Juliana into a tight hug. At first Juliana reacted a bit tense, but she melted into the touch as soon, as Valentina slid her arms around her back. Valentina hid her face in the mold of Juliana's neck for a few seconds. The only reason Valentina pulled back a little bit, was so she could rest her forehead against Juliana's and meet her eyes. 

“Te quiero” Valentina said, really quietly, so that Juliana could barely hear it. But Valentina could see it in her eyes, that Juls had heard her and that she knew why she had said it. 

Juliana didn't say anything, instead she closed the distance between their lips with a kiss. They both closed their eyes at the contact. Although Valentina didn't get a audible answer to what she had said, the kiss spoke for itself, it was the answer. It told her, that Juliana cared deeply about her too. That she loved and trusted her, even if she couldn't always show her feelings like she would have wanted to. “Te amo, Valentina” Juliana said, as they separated and rested their foreheads together again. Valentina smiled and lovingly rubbed her nose against Juliana's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first I wasn't sure in what direction I wanted to go exactly. But I thought picking up with Juliana not always being as strong as she tries/pretends to be, was a thing that made a lot of sense to me. This might go further into a direction, where Juliana seriously has PTSD, so be warned. I think even though Valentina might not always use healthy coping mechanisms,she at least talks to people about what's going on with her and Juliana barely does that at all. Well, that were my thoughts throughout this chapter.  
> Leave a comment if you want to, I'd appreciate it a lot.


	3. Waking up next to each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot shorter than the others, but I didn't want to stretch it out just to make it longer. I'm trying to work on the next chapter instead right away. As always, I hope you guys like it. Enjoy!

Valentina was awoken by warm rays of sunshine, that shone through the window. The tall girl squinted against the brightness, it took her eyes a moment to adjust to the light. Juliana seemed to be still asleep, her breaths were even and her eyes closed. Valentina looked at her for a moment, before she turned around to take her phone from the desk next to her bed. The clock showed it was 9 o'clock in the morning, even though Valentina would have liked to stay in bed longer, she still had a lot of things to deal with this day. There would probably be some backlash of the interview and the Carvajals still had to figure out, how to move on with things. As much as she wished things could just go back to how they were before her Father had died, Guille was right when he said, that Leon as Jacobo might not be able to handle things, not the way he used to. So there was definitely a lot to discuss for the family. 

Valentina placed her phone back on the desk and nuzzled into her sleeping girlfriend, which got her a sleepy snort in response. Gently nudging with her nose at Juliana's cheekbone, she whispered in her ear. 

“Mi amor, time to wake up” Valentina placed some soft kisses on Julianas shoulder and ran her fingers down her arm. “Juls, wake up” she proceeded. Juliana pinched her still closed eyes together and stiffened for a moment under Valentina's touch. Before she slowly opened her eyes. 

“Good morning, beautiful” Valentina said, her voice quiet and loving. Juliana blinked rapidly at the brightness of the room. She obviously wasn't fully awake yet. Valentina had to smile, she adored waking up next to Juliana like this, with her girlfriend still sleepy. 

“Hey, are you awake now?” Valentina giggled against Juliana's shoulder. 

“Mmmh” Juliana just hummed in reply. She breathed deeply in and out a few times, before she moved to turn around, so she could look at Valentina. 

“Morning” Juliana said with a faint smile. Then she led her head drop back to the pillow, her eyes closed. She was still too tired to function properly. Valentina reached over to caress Juliana's face with one hand. 

“Are you alright?” Valentina asked, just to make sure, that her love was really just tired still. 

“Just tired” Juliana mumbled into the pillow. Valentina traced over the other girls jaw with her fingers, losing herself in the sensation of touching the girl she loved. 

To Valentina it still felt like it wasn't really happening, like it was only a dream and she would wake up every second, finding that they were not together after all. Touching Juliana was the only thing that made her believe it was real. The only thing she knew was true, was that she never in her Life had adored anyone or anything, as much as she adored Juliana. Everything about her just made Valentina happy, from the way she looked at her, to the way she touched her. Juliana didn't even have to touch her body, to make her feel like this. She touched her soul and made her feel complete somehow, like something inside of her had been missing, before she had met the other girl.

After they laid there in silence for a little while, Juliana opened her eyes again, to look at Valentina, who was still lost in thought.

“What are you thinking about?” Juliana asked curiously, pulling the other girl out of her thoughts and back to reality. Valentina bit her bottom lip and started to grin. Juliana had to laugh at her expression. 

“What?” she asked, lifting her head up from the pillow.

Valentina shook her head and buried her face in her hands for a short moment. When she raised her head, a faint blush was covering her cheeks. 

“Nothing, I was just thinking, how I'd like to wake up next to you everyday” Valentina answered, her bright blue eyes fixated on Juliana's deep brown eyes. Juliana smiled and raised an eyebrow.

“You really are a quick mover, huh?” Juliana said jokingly, Valentina rolled her eyes and huffed. Juliana rested her forehead against Valentinas, the dark eyed girl tenderly rubbed her nose against the one of her girlfriend. Valentina closed her eyes at the contact, enjoying it's purity. 

They stayed like this for a few moments, then Juliana leaned in closer, to kiss her. Juliana was pulled even closer immediately, which made the kiss more demanding. Valentina moved up a little and placed her hand on the rim of Juliana's top, to slip her hand under the fabric, when someone loudly knocked on the door all of a sudden. They separated quickly, both not yet used to the fact, that they didn't have to hide anymore.

Valentina looked at Juliana with a questioning look, unsure if Juliana had a problem with the Carvajal family knowing that she stayed over. Juliana shook her head, silently forming the words 'It's alright'. The good thing about their nightly walk outside, was that they both were dressed at least.  
“Yes?” Valentina shouted at the door. Juliana sat up and crossed her arms in front of her legs. “Mi nina, are you having breakfast with the others?” Silvina asked through the closed door. Valentina was unsure what to answer, so she looked to Juliana, who shrugged. 

“Do you want breakfast?” Valentina whispered, so Silvina wouldn't hear. Juliana simply shook her head. Valentina frowned at her.

“Are you sure? Nothing?” Valentina asked again. 

“No, I don't want anything.” Juliana said quietly, again shaking her head. 

“Mi nina?” Silvina interferred. 

“Eh...I'm not sure yet. I'll think about it.” Valentina shouted. 

“Ok, I'll be downstairs” Silvina replied, then they heard her walk away slowly. 

They looked at each other and started to laugh at the same time. Both thought about a very similar experience they had, with Silvina almost coming in, when nobody knew about them being together and they were still asleep. 

“At least she didn't try to come in this time” Juliana said and laughed. 

“That would have been awkward” Valentina breathed out loudly, letting herself fall down to the pillow behind her. Then she turned to look at Juliana. 

“You still look tired” Valentina stated, gazing over Juliana's face, which in deed looked paler than it usually did. Juliana looked back at her, she just shrugged, as if it didn't matter. 

“It's fine. But, I think, I should go now. I didn't exactly plan to stay over and my mom is probably freaking out right now” Juliana confessed with an apologetic look on her face. Valentina nodded a bit sad about the fact that they had to be apart for the day again. But she knew they both still had things to handle. Especially Valentina, who had a lot to work out with her family.

“Let's get up then” Valentina said with a sigh.


	4. Breakfast time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly just the girls talking (or not so much talking) to their families.  
> I don't know much more to say about it, so I hope you guys like it.

„I'll call you“ Valentina promised and gently brushed her fingers over the side of Juliana's neck. 

„Ok, I should go now“ Juliana said and smiled softly at her girlfriend. But Valentina didn't let go of her. 

“I really don't want you to go though” the older girl confessed, pouting. Juliana cupped her face with both hands and ran her thumbs over her cheeks. 

“I know. But you should talk to your family and if I don't get home soon, my mother will probably call the police” Juliana joked, which made Valentina chuckle a bit.  
They rested their foreheads together and remained like this for a couple of seconds, both just breathing calmly and not wanting to part ways. 

“I'll miss you” Valentina broke the silence and Juliana gave her a warm smile. 

“You'll see me later or tomorrow, it won't be that long” Juliana said and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Valentina's ear. Valentina sighed frustrated that they couldn't just stay together forever. 

“Alright go, before I change my mind” Valentina made a step back and let go of Juliana, who turned to leave.  
“Goodbye” Juliana said and smiled a bit sadly. 

“Ok...wait,wait” Valentina begged and grabbed Juliana's hand, before she could go on.  
Valentina closed the distance between them and kissed Juliana, who was obviously surprised by her actions. It was a soft kiss, not demanding or pushing at all. Valentina pulled back first and caressed Juliana's cheek. After that she took another step back, to get some distance between them. 

“Go now, I'll call you” Valentina repeated what she had already said earlier. Juliana nodded and squeezed Valentina's hand, only slowly letting go of her hand, as she finally stepped outside.

 

After they finally managed to say goodbye to each other at the front door, Valentina made her way to the room with the big table, where Guille, Renata and Jacobo were siting, having breakfast.  
“Good morning, hermanita” Guille greeted her with a big grin on his face. Renata and Jacobo also greeted her with friendly smiles. 

“Good morning” Valentina answered, taking a seat opposite Renata and Guille. Silvina approached her right away “Coffee?” she asked, Valentina nodded in response, giving Silvina a friendly smile. Guille continued to grin widely, while he chewed on his breakfast. 

“What's with that stupid face?” Valentina asked suspiciously, meanwhile Silvina handed her a plate and a steaming mug of coffee. Guille shrugged and finished chewing, before he answered.

“Nothing” he said acting totally innocent, but couldn't stop himself from laughing.  
“Did Juliana leave already?” he added, taking another sip of his coffee. As a result Valentina almost choked on her own coffee at his question. She blushed and nodded her head in embarrassment, giving him a glare, that was definitely saying 'Shut up!'

“What did she say about the interview, did she see it?” Renata asked,curiously, but in a much more mature manner, than her boyfriend. Renata genuinely cared, she liked Valentina and knew, things had been hard on the girl lately. The woman also knew, that Valentina and Guille were really close and that his little sister, meant a lot to her boyfriend. 

Guille and Renata had watched the interview together, both had been sitting in front of the TV extremely tense, worried for Valentina to be put in a bad position. They had been incredibly relieved when it was over and it seemed like it went through well. The only worry left in this regard, was how Juliana would feel about the whole thing.

Valentina put her mug back down to the table and nodded. “She did see it. It was apparently quite unexpected to her, but she took it well, I guess.” Valentina stated, a bit insecure.

“That's good. So, are you together now?” Guille replied with an interested frown. Valentina didn't have to look around, to see, that all eyes were on her now. Even Jacobo, who had been sitting there in silence to this point, was looking at her expectantly. Valentina looked down, again blushing, she couldn't help but smile, while she softly bit on her bottom lip.  
“Well...” she started, before she took a deep breath and looked up. Valentina did not finish the sentence, instead the girl nodded happily. 

“I'm happy. She's good for you, at least from what I can tell” Guille expressed his thoughts.

“And you know, you were right. She is really nice and sweet and pretty” Guille half quoted, what his sister had said about her friend at the time. Valentina was sure, that Guille wanted to tease her, but to her, all of it, it was simply true, although she had said it, when she wasn't clear about her feelings yet. Valentina nodded, taking a bite from her breakfast. 

“She is” Valentina confirmed. “I'm really lucky”

“The truth is that I'm in love with a women” Guille quoted what Valentina had said on the interview, while he but his hand on his chest. “It was so heartwarming” he added and started to laugh. 

“Shut up” Valentina shouted and threw a crumpled napkin at him.

“Don't listen to him. I think, it was very sweet” Renata told her. “Juliana is lucky too.”

“Muchas gracias, Renata” Valentina said with a thankful smile.

“I was really scared beforehand” Valentina confessed, releasing a pressured sigh. 

“But you did pretty well” Jacobo suddenly stated, gently squeezing her arm. Valentina looked at him in surprise, then she smiled. Guille and Renata quickly approved. 

“I don't think, I could have done it that well” Guille stated seriously sounding. 

“Absolutely not, it would have been a mess” Renata said jokingly, to which Guille pretended to be insulted by her joke.

“Was there anything in the media about it today?” Valentina asked them, her gaze jumping from one to the other.  
“Did you not check yet?” Guille asked astonished by the fact. 

“No, I didn't want to check, while Juliana was still here” Valentina admitted. A part of her was still scared about what people would say about them, even though she knew, nobody could say anything, that would make her, not want to be with Juliana. When they had not been together it had just felt wrong and she had felt extremely lonely.

“There was nothing in the magazines. They probably didn't want to change their setups, after all it's not a top priority story” Jacobo explained, with his usual calm voice. Valentina felt relieved.

“There were a few news online about it, but not that much” Guille commented with a shrug, while he pulled his phone out of his pocket, to look it up. 

“Ah here it is....” Guille called out and started to read it out loud, after Valentina asked: “What does it say?” 

“IT Girl Valentina Carvajal in love with a woman.  
Yesterday the youngest daughter of Leon Carvajal, Valentina Carvajal confessed her love for another woman in an interview on Victoria. The young woman talked openly about her struggles after her fathers death. She stated that she had a really dark stage, she battled with anger and sadness, which she tended to drown in alcohol. According to Carvajal she only overcame her struggles, due to a person she met at the park, which apparently was a woman. Although Carvajal did not take the label of being homosexual, she confessed to be in love with said woman.”

Guille stopped there and scrolled down a bit. 

“Homosexuality might be accepted a lot more today, but not many famous people talk openly about being in a relationship with someone of the same sex. Therefore Valentina Carvajal might become a role model for a lot of people to be open about who they love. The way Valentina confessed her love to her girlfriend in front of the whole country, was not only totally heartwarming and pure, it also made people acknowledge same sex relationships more” 

“That's extremely positive” Renata stated with an encouraging smile. 

“So, apparently my little sister is a famous IT Girl and a role model. That's an upgrade” Guille said with a frown. 

Valentina shook her head “I'm not sure if that is a good thing” she said. After all, it could not only affect her herself, but also Juliana and their relationship.

“At least it's not a scandal” Guille tried to cheer her up. Valentina nodded, chewing on the inside of her cheek. 

“You should not worry so much, Valentina. The Interview went well, Juliana took it well, it's not a scandal at all. Things will be fine, you'll see. Have a little trust.” Jacobo added to the conversation. 

Valentina looked at him, somehow he always knew what to say, she wished she was more like that. His blue eyes were slightly red, probably due to lack of sleep, they also seemed very sad, which reminded Valentina of the reason behind his quietness, about the loss of Lucia, about the things that had happened with Eva.  
There were still things they had to talk about. Jacobo noticed her blank gaze over him, how she was lost in thought. 

“Valentina?” his voice was soft, as if he did not want to alarm her. Valentina focused back on the present and looked at him questioning what he wanted to say. 

“I think it's better, if we take a few days before we talk everything through” he continued. His daughter looked at him confused about him knowing what she had been thinking about. 

“I think we all need a break” The man explained,what he meant. Valentina agreed with him. Not only was the girl exhausted, she also wanted nothing more, than to spend a couple of days with Juliana, without feeling, like someone was trying to tear them apart. 

“We do” Guille approved of his fathers words. Then he looked at his watch. 

“We have to go now, we are running late” Guille stated,as he stood up and Renata followed his lead. Valentina stood up too, to give both of them a hug, before they left. 

After that she was left alone with Jacobo, who's eyes rested upon her. Valentina wondered for a moment if she should stay and spend some more time with him. He was probably feeling horrible about Lucia and Eva.  
“Do you want me to stay with you?” Valentina asked him directly. 

Jacobo smiled at her solitude. “I'll be fine. Go and spend some time with Juliana, it'll do you good” he answered. Before she left him, Valentina hugged him tightly, hoping he would know, that he wasn't alone. 

When Juliana came home, her mother and Panchito were sitting at the dinning table too. “Hola” Juliana greeted them, she looked at them a bit embarrassed. They obviously knew, that she had stayed over night, but she still felt kind of awkward in this situation, especially now that people knew about them being in love and not just friends. “Hola, Juliana” Panchito greeted her with a kind smile. 

“You should have called and told us that you were staying over!” Her mother said ,apparently she was a bit upset about it. 

“I'm sorry, I...didn't plan to...and I kind of forgot...I'm really sorry, mom” Juliana apologized to her mother. 

“Next time, you'll call!” Lupita admonished her. 

“Si, mom. Claro. I'm sorry” Juliana answered quickly. The girl remained standing next to the table, until her mother filled a mug with coffee for her and pointed Juliana to sit with them. 

“So, how did things go with Valentina?” Lupita asked curiously, her mood had changed drastically all of a sudden, she was excited and her mood seemed to be very good. Juliana was relieved, that her mother wasn't actually mad at her. It was more of a short lecture, so she made sure, to call her next time. The girl took a seat and only shrugged at first. 

“It went well. We talked about a lot” Juliana replied shyly. Lupita looked at her daughter expectantly. This answer wasn't satisfying her mother at all. “We are back together now” Juliana added, guessing this was what her mother wanted to know about. Lupita smiled widely and pulled Juliana into a surprising hug. 

“See?! Hija, I told you that girl was serious about you” Lupita screamed in excitement, which made Juliana laugh. “I told you” Lupita repeated, cupping her daughters face in both hands. It's been a while, since Lupita saw her daughter smile this happily and she understood it now. If Valentina made her daughter this happy, then she would support their relationship no matter what.  
When Lupita finally let go of her daughter and settled back on her chair, Panchito patted Juliana's arm and said “I'm really happy for you two”. 

“Gracias, Panchito.” Juliana answered, moved by his kind words and his support for them. 

“Are you two not spending the day?” Lupita asked her daughter curiously. Juliana shrugged.

“She has some things to handle with her family. So, I guess, she'll be busy today. I don't know” Juliana confessed. As much as she would have liked to spend the day with her girlfriend, she understood, that Valentina had to take care of things with her family first. 

Now that they didn't have to hide from the narcos anymore and they had decided to stay in this town, Juliana should figure out what she wanted to do. If the fashion school was the thing for her, or if she wanted to do something else. After all, she wasn't sure, if she would want to attend at a school, paying with the money Chino had given them. For her it was blood money still, even if she could accept it for her mother, she might not be able to accept it for herself. Lupita was not recovered enough yet, to go back to working again and she wouldn't want Panchito paying anything for her. So the best thing was, if she would pay for it herself, or get a scholarship. Juliana wasn't even sure, if she would be good enough to get one. The whole topic, was still a lot, it would probably take her a while to figure it out and she had missed the time, to apply somewhere anyway.

“Are you alright?” Lupita asked out of nowhere.

“Si, I'm just really tired” Juliana answered quickly and ran one hand over her face in a pointless attempt to rub the tiredness away. Of course it did nothing. Only now did Juliana realize how tired she actually was.

Lupita and Panchito looked at her, with concern written all over their faces. Juliana didn't mean to worry them, but it was only natural for them to act like that. After all, they knew, how little she had slept, after she had been freed from Alacran and his men. They had heard her scream when she has had a nightmare, which had been pretty much every night and they had to wake her up, when she couldn't wake up from it herself. Juliana wasn't much of a talker, so they truly had no idea, what exactly her nightmares were about. Her mother had tried a few times to talk to her about it, but Juliana had always blocked her off, so she had stopped trying, at least for a while. Her mother's concerned gaze over her made Juliana utterly uncomfortable.

“Did you eat something already?” Panchitos voice broke the silence. 

“No, But I'm not hungry. I think, I'll go and try to sleep a bit more” Juliana stated and got up from her chair, the coffee in front of her, remained untouched. When Juliana turned to go to her room, her mother grabbed her wrist and looked at her with a question lingering in her eyes. Juliana looked at her and gave her a faint smile. “I'm fine, mom. Don't worry” 

Juliana closed the door behind herself and leaned against the wood for a moment, letting out a pressured sigh. The girl didn't even know, why she felt this stressed. Being with people has been strenuous for her recently, because everyone was just so concerned about her. After all, nothing had happened to her, at least Juliana told herself so. They didn't kill her, they didn't force her into sleeping with them, they didn't actually torture her. The worst was probably that they hit her and were rough with her, which was really nothing, considering what type of people they were. Juliana shook her head heavily, willing her thoughts to stop twirling around this topic. “Stop thinking about it” she mumbled to herself. The girl pushed herself away from the door and walked over to the bed, that she dropped herself onto. 

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and closed her eyes. Only to open them again and turn to her side and close them again. 

Juliana didn't know how long she kept doing this, turning, opening and closing her eyes, it felt like an eternity. She was just too restless, it didn't matter how tired she was, she wouldn't get any sleep now. Her eyes were fixated on the ceiling, her arms crossed in front of her chest again, when her phone started vibrating on the nightstand.  
She reached for it and her heart slightly jumped, as she read the name on the display. Valentina. Of course it was Valentina, who else would it be. Juliana took the call.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :)
> 
> First of all, sorry for taking so long to update, but I rewrote this chapter like a hundred times.  
> I'll try to make a quick update on the next chapter, can't promise anything though.  
> Leave me a comment if you like, it's always highly appreciated.  
> And as always I hope you guys like it.

The door opened, before Juliana even had the time, to pull her hand back from the doorbell. 

"Hey" Valentina greeted her and bit her lower lip, as a grin began to spread across her face.

“Hey” Juliana repeated and started to grin too. She wondered, if Valentina had been waiting for her right behind the door, considering how quickly she had opened it. Juliana was just relieved, that it wasn't Jacobo again, who had opened the door, it had been awkwardly enough the day before. Valentina held her hand out to the other girl and pulled her inside, once she took it. Valentina quickly closed the door behind them, before she turned back to Juliana and firmly hugged her. 

“I missed you” Valentina said quietly. Being with Juliana comforted her in a way that she couldn't even describe. It was as if all of the weight she carried with her all of the time, was suddenly a lot less heavy. It might sound cheesy, but Juliana made her feel complete somehow, as if she finally found the part of herself that had been missing. She wanted Juliana to be around all of the time, like she had said before, she couldn't stop thinking about the other girl, it was like a record on a loop. 

“I was gone for like 4 hours” Juliana answered laughing. 

“I know. It was way too long” Valentina replied, resting both of her hands on either side of Juliana's neck, while she pulled back from the hug. Her blue eyes were subconsciously drifting down to her girlfriend's lips as always. Juliana couldn't help but smile at this, it was such a typical Valentina thing. Something Juliana adored in a way, because it was incredibly innocent and hot at the same time. 

“Eh...Perdon..Let's go upstairs?” Valentina had noticed, that she had totally lost herself in looking or more accurately starring at Juliana. “Si, Let's go” Juliana just answered and nodded happily, before she followed Valentina upstairs to her room. 

 

A short time later they were lying on the bed, snuggled together and the TV was playing a movie they both didn't really pay attention to. 

“Do you still want to attend at Rafaela's school?” Valentina asked suddenly. Juliana looked back at her, surprised about the question. She took a moment to think about it, before she answered. 

“I don't know to be honest. I mean, I missed the time to apply anywhere anyway, so...” Juliana shrugged. Valentina nodded slowly, obviously thinking about something.

“We could talk to her, if you want to. Maybe she makes an exception, if we explain to her why you couldn't make it” Valentina suggested, her fingers ran softly over Juliana's arm while she talked.

Juliana scrunched her brows, the thought of telling someone she couldn't meet the date for application, since her mother was kidnapped and almost died, because she got shot by some narcos and the same thing almost happening to herself as well, only a short time after, wasn't appealing at all to her.

“Don't you want to?” Valentina asked, still waiting for an answer. 

“I could talk to her, if you don't want to” she offered, looking at Juliana, who leaned against her.

“I really don't know, Val. She already made an exception with the waiting list, besides I don't want to tell her....” Juliana stopped mid through the sentence. She knew exactly what she wanted to say, that she didn't want to tell anybody about being kidnapped, but she didn't dare to say it out loud. Juliana shook her head and closed her eyes, clenching her teeth, in attempt not to think about what had happened to her once again. It wasn't only that she didn't want Rafaela to know about it, she didn't want to talk about it at all, to no one. She simply couldn't voice it.

Valentina realized Juliana's change of mood right away and she pulled her a little tighter to herself. “We don't have to. I just thought, you still might want to go there” Valentina said “I'm sure we could still fix things, if we talk to Rafaela, that's all” 

Juliana let out a heavy breath. “I do, I would want to go there. But.....I don't know, with everything that has happened recently, I haven't really thought about it again until now to be honest”.

“I figured this much, that's why I'm asking you” Valentina replied, caringly looking at Juliana, who didn't seem to be very talkative this day. 

“You know what? I'll talk to Rafaela” Valentina decided, while she tucked a strand of hair behind Juliana's ear. 

“You really don't have to do that, Val” Juliana stated, she was thankful though, that Valentina would do this for her, but at the same time she felt pretty stupid because she couldn't bring herself to talk to Rafaela herself. But Juliana knew that she couldn't bear to have this kind of conversation with someone. She wondered if Valentina suspected this and offered to do it for this reason.

“I want to. Besides you owe me a dress” Valentina joked and hugged Juliana, before she started placing kisses all over her face. Juliana started to giggle at Valentina's silly behavior and let herself drop from her sitting position back to the mattress, intentionally pulling Valentina with her in the motion. 

They laid still for a moment and looked into each other's eyes. Juliana's heart was beating so fast in her chest, she could have sworn, Valentina must have heard it. The pair of blue eyes were drifting down to Juliana's lips for a second, before they focused back on her eyes again. This time it was Juliana, who reached out first, to caress her lovers face, gently rubbing her thumb over Valentina's cheek, her jawline and down to her neck, where she rested her hand. Valentina closed her eyes and enjoyed the tenderness of the touch until she was carefully drawn closer and into a soft kiss. Both of them smiled into the kiss as they nuzzled back into each other.


	6. Two times in a row

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So,life has been a bit too stressful lately, so I didn't have much time to write anything and when I finally had time, I didn't like what I was writing, which by the way happens a lot to me.  
> I apologize a lot for the long wait on the update and hope you guys like the new chapter.

Juliana woke up, having trouble to breathe again. A familiar voice, talked to her and reminded her, that she wasn't alone. That she was with Valentina, laying next to her in Valentina's bed, at Valentina's house. They must have fallen asleep, or at least Juliana did. Juliana sat up, she quickly let her chin drop to her chest and tried to calm her breathing down. She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the sting of tears behind her eyelids. Only now, she could focus on what Valentina was saying. 

“Tranquila. It's alright, everything's alright. Just breathe, you'll be fine.” 

Juliana pulled her legs close to her chest, crossed her arms on top of them and rested her forehead on her arms. She was still panting heavily. Valentina carefully wrapped her arms around the younger girl, pulling her closer, so that she could hold her properly.  
Both of them were silent at this moment, Juliana probably due to the fact, that she still tried to calm herself down and Valentina, because she didn't know what she could say to make Juliana feel better. She just figured the nightmares were about Alacran, but she still wasn't entirely sure, since they hadn't talked about it at all til now. It drove Valentina crazy to not know what had happened back then, but she couldn't force to Juliana tell her and even if she could, she wouldn't want to.  
Juliana had to be the one who decides whether she wants to talk about it or not. Besides, Juliana was someone who reacted pretty badly when she was forced to do something she wasn't comfortable with.

It gave Valentina even more cause for concern, that this was the second time in a row this had happened. This led her to think, that these nightmares really weren't something new to Juliana. Valentina's eyes were filled with concern as she looked at her girlfriend, unsure if she could do anything to make her pain more bearable.

Valentina lightly rubbed Juliana's back and waited patiently, until she had calmed down a little, meanwhile she continued to whisper reassurances to her in hopes of making her feel at least slightly better. After a while, Juliana raised her head back up and quickly rubbed her reddened and teary eyes. But she refused to look at Valentina, instead she turned her head the other way, facing the door.  
Valentina gave her a minute, to recollect herself, before she tenderly touched her face and gently forced her to look her way. Their eyes met for a second and Juliana looked away again immediately, not able to stand the concerned gaze of her girlfriend.

“Juls” Valentina sighed, it sounded painfully desperate, as if Valentina didn't know what to do with her. And it was true, she really didn't know how to handle this, not if Juliana wasn't willing to talk to her about what was wrong exactly.  
Juliana clenched her teeth, like she always did when she was feeling uncomfortable in any way. Her brown eyes were fixated on the blanket. 

“This is so stupid” Juliana suddenly said with a frustrated laugh, while she shook her head. 

“Hey, no it's not.” Valentina replied right away and narrowed her brows. “Don't say that” 

“But it's true.”

“No, it's not. Look at me!” Valentina gently pulled Juliana's face back into her direction. 

“After what happened with Armenta, I had nightmares every time I fell asleep. Actually, I still do from time to time.” Juliana looked at Valentina with an apologetic expression on her face. Of course, she didn't mean to disregard what had happened to Valentina or how she was feeling about it, when she said it was stupid. 

Valentina gave her a faint but loving smile: “See? It's not stupid at all.” 

“I'm sorry” Juliana said, realizing now, that she might have dismissed Valentina's experiences for real. “I didn't mean to make you feel bad” Juliana kept on apologizing.

“No, you didn't make me feel bad. I'm just worried.” Valentina answered honestly. “I don't want you to feel guilty for suffering” Valentina said, shaking her head in disagreement of what Juliana had said.

Juliana let out a pressured breath and broke eye contact again. Valentina slightly laid her head to one side, observing her girlfriend, whose eyes were located at the blanket in front of her, while she once again remained silent. It made Valentina wonder, what exactly Juliana was thinking about at this moment, whether she was thinking about her nightmare, her kidnapping, Alacran maybe or something entirely different. Valentina knew one thing for sure, she hated seeing Juliana like this, having this sad and pained expression on her face. And she knew, how much Juliana hated to feel vulnerable.

“If you want to talk...” Valentina began, but she was immediately cut off by the other girl.

“No, Val. I really don't want to. It's ok. I'm fine” The answer was clearly defensive, it came way too fast and it obviously wasn't true. It was clear as day, that Juliana was not fine.

After all Juliana was still very stubborn. This would probably just end up in a fight and there was nothing either of them wanted less than to argue now. Valentina softly rubbed Juliana's arm. She didn't like the fact that the younger girl always kept things to herself. Even though she knew Juliana grew up , learning to do so and handling her emotions and problems all by herself mostly, she rather would have Juls talk to her about it.  
As much as she loved that her girlfriend was such a fighter and brave like no one else she knew, she hated it, when she thought her problems had to be dealt with by her alone. It was breaking her slowly, not that Juliana would ever admit that.

“Ok, Fine. We don't have to. Just know that you can talk to me, ok?” Valentina said, her bright blue eyes fixated on her stressed looking girlfriend, waiting for her answer. 

There was really nothing in this world, that she wanted to do less, than talk about what had happened to her. Burdening other people with her problems, wasn't something she liked to do.  
Why should she want to talk about it anyway? It would only remind the girl of things, which she rather wanted to erase from her memory for good. But Valentina would clearly not just drop the topic, if Juliana wouldn't reassure her, so she nodded and even gave her girlfriend a weak smile.  
Valentina stroked Juliana's face for a moment before pulling her closer and into a tight embrace that Juliana returned.


	7. Staying for breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. 
> 
> So, long time no see (no chapter), sorry for that. I must say, that I really take ages for finishing a chapter.   
> I have good news for you though, I have most of the next chapter written out already too. So that will be online probably within the next few days or at the very least within the coming week.  
> Hope you like this chapter!

Guille and Jacobo were both already sitting at the dining table, as Valentina and Juliana came downstairs for breakfast.

“Buenos diaz” Jacobo greeted them, he had obviously noticed them first. His smile was kind and welcoming and he didn't seem to be bothered by the fact that they were holding hands at all. 

Guille looked up from his phone and started to grin the very second, he noticed, who was walking towards him. “Hola, Juliana” he greeted enthusiastically, as if he was extraordinarily happy to see her. 

“Hola” Juliana replied a bit insecure, about why he all of a sudden appeared to be so happy. 

The girls joined them at the table, taking the seats on the opposite of Guille. Juliana really consciously avoided sitting next to Jacobo, which wasn't a problem really, since no one seemed to have noticed and Valentina took seat next to him right away. 

Silvina came from the kitchen, she had probably just heard them coming downstairs. 

“Buenos diaz. Do you two want coffee, juice, or something else?” she asked, kindly smiling at them.

“Both” Valentina chose right away, then she looked at Juliana, expecting her to say something too.

“Just Coffee is fine, gracias Silvina” Juliana answered quickly and gave Silvina a shy but friendly smile.

Silvina nodded, then she walked away to get them, what they wanted and Valentina chuckled.

Juliana looked at her girlfriend slightly confused about what was so funny. 

“It's nothing” Valentina laughed. “You are just very polite, that's sweet” she added and gently stroked over Juliana's thigh.

“At least she has manners!” Guille joked and winked at Juliana.

“I have no idea, what that is supposed to mean” Valentina stuck her tongue out at him. “Unlike you, I behave very well, all of the time! ” 

“In which universe?” Guille wondered, totally not convinced, that there even was an universe, where he would be able to believe that. 

“Ey, careful!” Valentina warned Guille, getting her most threatening expression on.

“Don't you want to defend me?” Valentina playfully asked directed at Juliana, who wanted to say something, but Guille was faster than her.

“Hey, don't drag her into this. That's not fair, I don't have my backup here right now.” Guille complained to Valentina. 

“I'm not so sure though, if I would actually confirm that you are behaving yourself properly” a voice sounded from the door. Juliana and Valentina turned around, to see Renata approaching them. 

“Buenos diaz” Renata greeted with a giggle and sat down next to Guille, before she gave him a light kiss. 

Silvina came back from the kitchen with a tablet in her hands. The elderly woman handed them their drinks and two plates and put a couple little plates filled with sliced fruits and other things on the table too. 

“Gracias” Valentina and Juliana said almost at the same time.

“So, do you two have any plans for today already?” Jacobo directed his question at his daughter and her girlfriend, in his usual gentle and calm voice, which was so different from the way, Chino used to talk. The familiar sound of this voice, however, was enough to send a shiver down Juliana's spine.

Juliana was a bit relieved, when Valentina started to answer him immediately, so she didn't have to react to Jacobo's question, because even looking at him for too long, made her terribly uncomfortable. Nonetheless, she tried not to let it show. While it was still challenging for her to have him around, she would try to cope with it, so it would not burden Valentina.

“I was planning to have lunch with Rafaela and I actually hoped that Guille would accompany me for it” Valentina said, her last words, with a questioning look at her older brother. 

“Me? Why do you need me for this?” Guille asked, totally surprised and maybe slightly confused.

“She's your godmother and she wanted me to bring you along, if we have lunch together. So, I figured, it might be a good idea to ask you” Valentina explained to him, before she took a sip of her coffee. Not to mention, that she might have a better chance to get on Rafaela's good side, when she brought her godson along. 

Juliana just sat there quietly following their conversation, her hands holding onto the steaming cup of coffee in front of her. 

“I'll check my calendar, when did you want to have lunch with her?” Guille checked back.

“Around two” Valentina answered, in the meantime, she reached for some sliced fruit, which she handed to Juliana without saying something. She knew Juliana would probably not eat anything, if she wouldn't animate her to do so.

Guille pulled out his phone again, most likely so he could check his calendar right away.

Valentina made use of the moment he was busy, to redirect her attention to Juliana, who at least was eating something now, it wasn't much, but it was something. Vaelentina had noticed that her girlfriend had become pretty quiet since they had left her room. Though she was not sure whether she was just shy in front of Valentina's family or if she was actually feeling uncomfortable. Juliana seemed to notice Valentina's questioning gaze over her, because she gave her a small, reassuring smile, signalizing her, she was fine. 

“I'm free then, but I have a meeting later, so I might not stay too long” Guille put his phone back into the inner pocket of his jacket. 

“Ok, that's fine with me” Valentina shrugged and took a sip of her coffee. “Renata can join us, if she wants to” she added, looking at her brother's girlfriend. Guille turned to look at her too. 

“Do you want to?” he asked. Renata seemed to be unsure.

“I don't know if I could make it, I have several meetings to prepare today actually. I told you last week about it?” Renata pointed out to Guille, who had totally forgotten about it by the look on his face. 

“Ah, perdon. I forgot” he apologized right away. 

“It's alright” Renata assured them with a placatory smile. “Maybe another time” 

“Are you coming along?” Guille questioned casually, the question was directed at Juliana. 

“No, I don't” Juliana answered. Guille nodded and didn't ask any further, for which Juliana was kind of thankful, because she didn't have an honest explanation, for why she did not want to be there or at least she did not feel comfortable giving an explanation to Vale's family. It had been hard enough for her to talk to Valentina about the topic, though she knew, they had touched it barely. And she dreaded the conversations they had to have at some point. 

The ringtone of a cell phone sounded. Renata right away reached down for her bag, which she previously must have placed next to her chair and quickly pulled her phone out. 

“Perdon, I have to take that” she said and apologetically looked up from the screen of the vibrating device, before she stood up and left the room again, to take the call. 

“Well, no good breakfast in this house, without someone having to leave early for work right?” Guille joked and leaned back, stretching his arms out. 

“Well, sadly I guess, I have to leave now too. I don't want to be late.” Jacobo said with a quick look on his watch. 

“Late for what? Where are you going?” Valentina asked and looked a bit confused at her father, since she did not remember him saying anything about having plans for this day.

“I'm meeting with Camilo” Jacobo explained shortly.

“Oh, I didn't know” Valentina reacted surprised about hearing, that her father was doing something that involved leaving the house. Since Lucia's funeral, he had been wandering around the Carvajals house like a zombie, in search of a meaning, he did not seem to find. Hearing that he was going to visit Camilo was calming for Valentina.

“Tell me how the meeting went!” Jacobo said pointed at Guille and stood up. Guille nodded in response and answered: ”I will”

“I'll see you later” he then said directed at Valentina and pressed a light kiss to his daughter's head.

“Goodbye, Juliana.” he added with a soft smile, then he left the room, leaving Juliana, Valentina and Guille behind at the table. 

“You know what, I should go now too” Juliana suddenly stated toward Valentina, once Jacobo was out of their sight. Valentina pouted.

“Seriously Val, don't look at me like that!” Juliana sighed heavily, still she had to chuckle.

“Ok, ok. At least let me walk you out then” Valentina responded and quickly stood up too. 

“We both know, if you walk me out, it will take an hour” 

Valentina smiled and simply shrugged. It didn't bother her, that they took their time with saying goodbye, every time. In fact, Valentina actually liked it a lot, that it took so much out of them, to separate. It reflected her feelings for Juliana perfectly, how she wanted to be with her every second she possibly could and she hoped Juliana would feel the same.

"It was nice meeting you again, Juliana. Guess, I'll see you here again soon! "Guille said his goodbye to her, not without a big, meaningful grin and a wink. 

“Yes, it was nice seeing you too” Juliana gave back a bit embarrassed. Before she turned to leave and Valentina followed her, but gave Guille a warning look on her way out. 

 

They came to a halt, when they reached the foyer. 

“Do you want to come over again tonight?” Valentina asked.

“I don't know, maybe I should spend a night at home. Honestly, I don't know, if my mom would be happy about me sleeping here every night.” 

Valentina contemplated, maybe she should just suggest her coming over to Juliana's place later. After all, Lupita wasn't against them being together anymore, so it should not be a problem for Valentina to stay over. After what Juliana had told her, Lupita was in deed quite supportive about their relationship now. It confused Valentina, how Lupita could have changed her mind this fast, when she was so badly against it at first. But in the end, she was just happy, that it came that way. And it gave her a glimpse of hope, that maybe Eva could change her mind about it too. 

Juliana leaned against the white wall behind her, waiting for Valentina to say something.

“I could come over to your place after I met with Rafaela and Guille” Valentina finally suggested. The desire of seeing Juliana, outweighed the awkwardness between her and Lupita by far.

“Mmhm” Juliana hummed, while she thought about it. “You could” she then said, interlacing her fingers with Valentina's. 

“You don't sound so sure about it?” Valentina lifted her brows, gazing over her girlfriend with an analyzing look, obviously trying to figure out, what was going on in her mind. “If you don't want me to...”

"No, that's not it. Of course I'd want you to.” 

“What's the problem then?” Valentina asked softly, pulling one hand out of Juliana's grip, to tuck a strand of hair behind her counterparts ear. Juliana looked down for a second, before she met Valentina's eyes.

“Maybe it's better for you, if you don't” Juliana pointed out cautiously, while doing pretty badly on holding eye contact with her girlfriend. 

“I mean I don't want to keep you up every night” Juliana clarified apologetically with an insecure shrug. 

“Every night?” Valentina appeared shaken by the meaning of this sentence. Juliana's eyes went a little wider, as she realized, what she had just unintentionally confessed. “Are you really having nightmares every night?” 

“No...I...It's not that bad” Juliana stuttered, which was everything else, but not convincing.

“It sounds pretty bad to me” Valentina contradicted.

“It's not, you really don't have to worry” 

“Can I do anything to make it better?”

“No, I don't think so. But it's ok. I'm sure it'll just pass”

Valentina nodded, unsure of what to say. She hoped so much that Juliana was right and that it would pass with time. Unfortunately Valentina wasn't so sure when she considered that her nightmares had passed much sooner, although sometimes she still had some. However, hers had never been as frequent as Juliana's were apparently.

“I hope it will” Valentina responded and pulled Juliana closer to herself, to hug the younger one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, if you're reading this, you probably finished this chapter and I have a few questions for the people, who would be so kind to give me some feedback.
> 
> Is the story in generel to negativ for you? Should I tone it back a bit? Does it lack too much on cuteness?
> 
> Do you want me to write the lunch with Rafaela in, because I'm not sure wether that would make a good chapter( part of a chapter)?
> 
> Hope I get at least a little bit of feedback. Because I can really not tell these things by reading it myself.
> 
> Thanks for reading by the way!


	8. Questions and Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, after the last chapter, I basically went crazy and this is what got out of it.  
> I don't even know, how this happened. I lost my mind haha.
> 
> Hope you like this chapter!

Valentina came back into the dining room, after she had finally managed to say goodbye to Juliana at the door. She really would have liked her to come along and have lunch with them, albeit she understood, why Juliana didn't want to be there. Rafaela presumably, would have addressed her questions directly to Juliana then and Valentina was not sure, if her girlfriend would have been capable of answering them yet.

The young Carvajal sat back down at the now empty table. Guillermo came back with another cup of coffee in his hands, he didn't bother to take a seat though, instead he looked out of the large windows, into the wide garden.

“I'm visiting Eva again, tomorrow” Guille stated, his gaze was still focused outside.

“Ok” Valentina simply said, as confirmation, that she had heard him.

“I thought...maybe you would want to accompany me?” Guille asked carefully, he had turned around now, to observe Valentina's reaction, during his statement, but she did not say anything.

Valentina eyes met his and he could clearly see in them, that she was debating whether it was a good idea or not. Even though Valentina made clear, that she still loved her sister after all, the fact that she was with Juliana again, made her unsure about visiting Eva even more. Valentina was not sure, if she was ready to face her sister yet.

“She asked for you a lot” Her brother interrupted Valentina's thoughts. She felt guilty, everyone except for her had visited Eva already, Guille and Renata, their father and even Mateo had been there already. She was the only one, who had not been there to visit Eva, yet. Valentina just couldn't shake the fear of Eva judging her relationship to Juliana again. Of course nothing could be said, that would make Valentina doubt their relationship, because she knew, how much she loved Juliana. But it would still hurt her deeply, to hear her own sister disapprove, who she was in love with, again. Especially after she and Juliana had really broken up back then, because everything, that had happened, was too much for the both of them to handle at the time.

“So?” Guille asked, pulling Valentina out off her thoughts once again.

“I don't know, Guille” Valentina answered and he could see that there was a lot on his little sister's mind. Guille pulled the stool closest to him from the table and took a seat, opposite Valentina's.

“What's the problem with seeing her? Is it because of Juliana? Are you afraid she will say something about you two?” Guille asked and waited patiently for his little sister to collect her thoughts.

“Yes, but it's not just that. I mean, what do I talk to her about?” Valentina asked, opening up about her insecurities, regarding Eva, to her brother. Guille simply shrugged in a nonchalantly way, before he answered.

“I don't think she will say something about it, but you don't have to talk about Juliana with her at all, if you don't want to. Besides if she says something or it is too much for you, you could still just leave. And for talking to her, I think it doesn't really matter what you talk about, it's more about being there, right?” Guille smiled encouragingly at Valentina once he finished talking.

Valentina nodded and gave him a small smile. “It's about time I visit her, I guess.” Valentina agreed. She knew, that Guille was right, postponing it longer, would not make it any better or make her less scared, nervous and uncomfortable about going into a prison to see her sister. Guille smiled widely at her and nodded happily over her decision. He knew, how unsure Valentina was, regarding her relationship with Eva these days.

“So, how are you and Juliana doing?” Guille suddenly changed the subject. Valentina hesitated for a moment, but nodded and smiled at him, although a bit too weak to be really convincing. “We're good” she simply stated.

Guille frowned at her.

“That's not the 'We can finally be together, everything is so great and I love her so much' answer I expected” Guille pointed out, he seemed to be surprised by her answer. “Did something happen between you two?” Guille asked further, it was clear as day, that he was genuinely caring about his sister's relationship. Besides, Valentina knew, that Guille really liked Juliana.

“No, it's not that” Valentina hesitated yet again. Guille looked at her and raised an eyebrow, obviously this answer didn't explain anything, nor did it satisfy him.

“What is it then? I thought you two would be over the moon now.” Guille replied, more confused than before.

Valentina sighed heavily, thinking about how she could explain to Guille what exactly was up.

“Juliana isn't...doing so great lately” Valentina said, choosing her words carefully.

Guille scrunched his brows together, thinking about the possible meanings of her words before asking: “What do you mean? Is she sick?”

Valentina looked to the ceiling, unsure of the answer herself. Juliana wasn't sick in the obvious way, like her body was fine, though the lack of sleep and the non existing eating habits might be a problem soon, Valentina thought.

Guille was still looking at her, waiting patiently for an answer. Her silence seemed to unsettle him a bit though.

“Vale?” he finally asked, trying to direct her attention back to their conversation after several minutes passed, with her lost in her thoughts or more accurately said, worries.

“She's having a hard time, since....” Valentina stopped, a bit unsure of what she should call it. It was still hard to say out loud, what had happened to Juliana, mostly, because it still hurt to know or rather not know what she probably had to go through. Valentina swallowed and Guille seemed to notice, since he quickly said:  
“It's alright. No need to explain.”

So she didn't have to force, saying it out loud. Although Valentina didn't know, why she had such a hard time telling him, especially, since she never had a problem addressing what had happened to her herself with Armenta. But it was different because she talked about her problems with other people and it was also different because she had not been all on her own in this. It was one of the scariest things she had experienced in her life for sure, but at least Lucia and Silvina had been with her. They also had known, that the police was trying to get into the house to save them.

Juliana's situation had been very different. She had been alone, probably not knowing, if anyone knew where she was or if anyone could help her.

Guille roughly knew, what had happened to Juliana, so he might have a vague idea on what was on Valentina's mind.

Guillermo also knew his little sister incredibly well, so he knew all the better that she was probably worried sick about her girlfriend. Valentina had always been very sensitive to the suffering of others, especially when it came to people close to her. And there was probably no one as close and important to her as Juliana at this point.

“Did you two talk about what has happened?” Guille asked with a worried look in his brown eyes.

“She doesn't want to talk about it at all” Valentina sighed, her voice sounding concerned and also a bit desperate about the situation. Guille nodded understandingly.

“Maybe she needs a bit more time, I mean it hasn't been that long right?” Guille pointed out carefully, trying to make sense of the situation and maybe calm his sister's nerves down a little.

Valentina nodded, he was right. It's been barely two weeks and their lives were still far from being sorted out. There were still so many things they had to handle and as a matter of fact, there was a tremendous number of things, they still had to heal from.

“So, what do you want to do about it?” Guille asked her directly.

The question was reasonable, but Valentina had no answer prepared. She didn't know, what she should or rather what she could do about it, if anything at all. Juliana was clearly shutting the topic off. And it was hard to get through to Juliana, when she was defensive like that. Valentina ran a hand over her face, she felt stressed. It made her awfully anxious, that she wasn't able to help Juliana get through this.

“I don't know. I mean, I tried to talk to her about it, but she just completely shuts the topic off.”

“Maybe the problem is exactly that....perhaps she just doesn't want to talk with YOU about it?” Guille implied carefully.

Valentina had already contemplated that herself, however she somehow doubted, that this was the case. Because she couldn't picture her girlfriend talking about it to really anyone at her free will.

Sometimes Juliana needed a little pushing, but the line between getting her out off her comfort zone and making her shut down completely was so thin, that Valentina was scared to cross it and continue the conversation, when Juliana already stated that she didn't want to talk about it.

“I don't think it's that.” Valentina finally answered.

“Then just give her some more time. I'm sure she'll talk to you, when she is ready” Guille advised.

“I hope you're right” Valentina mumbled.

“Of course I am” Guille replied, while he stood up from his seat.

“Sorry, hermanita. But I have to leave for work now. I'll see you at lunch, ok?”

“Yeah ok, bye and thank you” Valentina said.

“Always. See you later!” Guille gave back on his way out.

“Ma, Panchito, I'm back.” Juliana exclaimed into the flat, while she closed the door behind herself.  
Lupita came out of the kitchen, to Juliana's consternation, followed by detective Montilla.

 

*******

 

“What is he doing here?” Juliana asked her mother, not even bothering to greet him, or try and hide the fact, that she wasn't happy at all to see the detective. He smiled politely at her, as if he didn't notice her negative attitude towards him, despite it showing very clearly.

 

“Buenos Diaz, Juliana. I actually hoped to meet you here, seems like I'm lucky today. You see, I still have a few questions about what happened.” Montilla declared, acting friendly towards her. Juliana wondered, if he tried to act friendly, because of what had happened to her, or if he just put on a show, to get his answers from her. There were not many people she disliked as much as she disliked Montilla. It was something about the way he acted friendly, but the undertone in his voice was somehow not. It was judging, or at least it did sound like it to her.

 

“Why don't we sit down and talk a little?” Montilla demanded with a smile and pointed at the table. Juliana did as he asked and took a seat. Opposite her he did the same. Lupita sat down next to Juliana, maybe she wanted her to feel supported, but Juliana would have rather her not being there with them. The girl really did not want her mother to know what had been going on while she was kidnapped.

 

“It's really weird, because there is actually no one, who could tell me, what happened inside that house, except for you!” Montilla stated, looking at her expectantly.

 

Juliana looked or more so stared back at him, while she remained silent. This was exactly the conversation she was trying to avoid, since she had left Alacran's house. All the efforts she had put into avoiding it, were in vain, for he would not let it go, as the others did. Montilla had no interest in her mental state, he just wanted his questions answered, if she was feeling ok with doing that just yet, wasn't important to him.

 

“So, why don't you just tell me everything from the start?” Montilla suggested, pulling out a note block with a pen attached to it from his jacket.

 

Juliana opened her mouth, then she closed it again, unsure what exactly was the start of it. The fight with her mother? Moving out? Working for Perlita? What had happened between her and Sergio? Did he have to know about that?

 

Juliana looked over at her mother. Lupita sat there in silence, judging by the sight of her, she also wanted to know exactly how everything had happened.

 

“I was walking down the street, then someone grabbed me from behind, a man, I think” Juliana finally started, when she had decided to not mention anything, that had let to her wandering the streets alone. It costed her a huge overcoming to say anything at all, but she tried to pull herself together, to get it over with and hopefully she did not have to see Montilla again after this.

 

“Was it one guy or more?” Montilla asked, as he wrote something down.

 

Juliana thought about it, but no matter how much she tried, she couldn't remember, so she said: “I don't know”

 

“Have you seen a face or something significant maybe?”

 

Juliana shook her head. Montilla nodded, then he quickly wrote something down.

 

“What happened then?”

 

“I don't know, I passed out” Juliana admitted. A quick look to her mother, showed Juliana, that Lupita was close to tears already. Montilla however, seemed unimpressed by what he had heard so far and he scribbled something down on his little pad again.

 

“Do you have an idea how long you were unconscious by any chance?”

 

“No” Juliana simply said. When she thought of it, she couldn't even remember how long she had been there at all. And she did not want to remember, to be completely honest. She felt terribly stressed out already. How on earth would she even know for how long she was unconscious? The question was pretty stupid to begin with, Juliana thought.

 

“Can you tell me, how many people you have seen in the house?”

 

“5?” Juliana answered, it sounded more than a question than an answer, due to her really not being quite sure.

 

“Is that a question or an answer?” Montilla asked, scrunching his brows.  
The sound of a key, being shoved into the door from the outside interrupted the scene. Everyone looked at the opening door. Panchito appeared, holding some filled paper backs in his arms, he was probably gone already before Montilla had showed up, at least the surprised look on his face, made it seem like it. Panchito looked at Montilla, then at Lupita and lastly Juliana.

 

“Did something happen?” he asked worriedly, evidently not understanding what was going on.

 

“No, don't worry. I just have a few questions to ask Juliana here” Montilla explained with his friendly smile on.

 

“Ok....” Panchito answered, then directed his eyes at Lupita and finally a stressed looking Juliana again.

 

“I'll put the groceries away” Panchito told them, before he went into the kitchen.

 

“Ok, so you say 5 people?” Montilla continued his questioning right away.

 

“I am really not sure. I guess so.” Juliana started to get really nervous and uncomfortable by now and it got worse with every second that passed.

 

“Guessing is not really helpful for us” Montilla gave back.

 

According to what he had said, nothing Juliana had told him to this point, was helpful. She wasn't sure about most things he had asked so far. And the things she was sure about, were the things she least wanted to talk about, but eventually they would get to them, if he continued asking and she was sure he would. 

Panchito came back from the kitchen and took a seat next to detective Montilla, he still seemed a bit confused about what was going on.

 

“Did you have any injuries when you got there?” the detective carried on with his questions. “After you were unconscious, when you woke up” the man added to clarify.

 

Juliana looked confused, it did not make sense to her, what he was asking. They wanted to know something from her, so it would have made no sense for them, to hurt her, when she didn't get to feel it.

 

“I don't....think so” she replied, but she was not sure, at least she could not remember having any.

 

“You should have had a medical examination. That's usually the procedure after kidnappings.” Montilla said, he didn't even bother looking up from his notepad. Juliana clenched her teeth and dug her nails into her leg under the table, 'til it started to hurt. She told herself to try and stay calm though, even though it was extremely hard to do so. Despite burying her nails in the fabric of her jeans, she could feel herself trembling pretty badly.

 

"That would have spared you having to answer many of the questions I will have to ask you now, because you did not have one.” Montilla added, his voice had no sign of softness in it, which showed Juliana, that for him, it did not matter what had happened, it did not touch him in the slightest, not that she had expected him to feel bad for her. Juliana was not even the type of person, who wanted anyone to feel bad for her, she would always take the extra mile, so people would not pity her or feel bad for her. To her Montilla completely lacked any sign of empathy or compassion.

 

“I mean, you're a young girl. And we know that Cartel men often like to...”

 

Juliana froze, her eyes widened, when she realized what he was about to say. The disturbed look on Lupita's face however was what really got to Juliana. Feeling like a punch in the gut. She knew the question would come up sooner or later, that someone would ask her some day about it. Juliana felt so stupid about being scared of this question in particular, because there was a simple answer to it. No, they did not force her into anything sexual. It had been close though and she couldn't admit that, because she could not handle seeing this disturbed look on anyone's face, especially not her mother and absolutely not Valentina.

 

“That's enough!” Panchito suddenly interrupted. Montilla raised his brows and looked at him. “I think she has told you enough for today”  
Montilla's unfinished sentence, has already been enough to send a shiver down Juliana's spine and make her feel sick to the bone.

 

“It's to no use, if we don't finish this” Montilla pointed out. Clearly, he did not get the answers, he really wanted from her.

 

“I think it's better, if you go now!” Panchito said and stood up himself. That Panchito would be the first to lose his temper was something Juliana had certainly not expected.

 

“Now get out yourself, before I'll make you!” Panchito fumed.

 

“I'm not done yet, she still has to answer...” Montilla insisted when Panchito grabbed the back of his chair and turned it around and towards the door. “Panchito!” Lupita called out alarmed by his behavior. If Panchito would hurt him, that would probably mean trouble. Juliana sat there, watching the scene completely frozen, she did not understand what was happening, why Panchito was freaking out all of a sudden, like she had never seen him do before.

 

“I'm not telling you again, get out!” Panchito snarled at the detective, who eventually stood up.

 

“You're not helping anyone by doing this, especially not Juliana” Montilla growled, but he still managed to control himself.  
“And you might even get yourself in trouble!”

 

Then Montilla finally left, before Panchito would completely lose it on him.

 

Panchito slammed the door shut behind detective Montilla.

 

“I'm sorry. I couldn't watch this anymore” Panchito confessed now being calmer again. He let himself drop onto the nearest chair. “Are you alright, Juliana?” Panchito directed his attention to the girl, his expression was showing concern.

 

Juliana gave him a small nod. She had only seen Panchito get angry with someone like that once and that was when he and Chino had gotten into a fight. Seeing Panchito get angry about Montilla bothering Juliana was beyond her imagination and yet it had just happened. She was still trying to process this.

 

Lupita pulled her daughter into a sideways hug, while she caressed her face. Juliana just let her do it, even though she felt weird, painfully passive in this moment, like she was just watching someone else's life, or as if she was just an actor, pretending to be someone she was not. Honestly, that was what her life had felt like for the past two weeks, mostly it was her own fault. She was the one pretending, no one had asked her to do so. They had actually asked her to not do so, but she couldn't let her walls down. Juliana was bad at opening up to others and as much as she would have liked to be different, she couldn't be, because that was also not her. These days she wasn't even sure who she was anyway.

 

After a few minutes have passed with Lupita just holding her daughter pressed against herself, the woman finally let go off her again.

 

“Thank you, Panchito” Juliana suddenly said, as she finally got her voice back to function properly.

 

Panchito smiled at her and nodded. “You're welcome” he simply answered, as Juliana got up, to get to her room, she was honestly tired of having people around her for the moment. None of them tried to stop her, or ask her what she wanted to do. They probably figured already that she was completely exhausted on all levels, emotionally, mentally and physically.

 

*******

  
Valentina arrived first at the cafe they had picked to have lunch there. She had made sure to come extra early, so Rafaela did not have to wait for her. Valentina used the time, she was still alone, to pull out her phone and send a text to Juliana saying. 'Having lunch now. I miss you xx'

 

“Hey” The voice of her brother greeting her, got her attention away from her phone.  
Guille took off his jacket, before he took a seat and looked at her.

 

“Hey”

The waiter immediately came up to them and asked if they wanted to order something directly.

 

“Coffee, black for me and...” Guille ordered, leaving the sentence with a questioning look at his sister. “..latte for you?” Valentina nodded, looking at her phone screen, which was flashing up with a text from Juliana saying 'Miss you too.'

 

The waiter left them, to go and get their order.

 

“How was work?” Valentina asked casually, even though his workday wasn't over yet.

 

“Tiring. It's so boring I swear, since Eva is not there anymore, we have to handle all of her work and she really had the most boring tasks” Guille complained with a yawn. “And my new assistant is totally not familiar with my way of working, I really want Renata back as my assistant, she handles things way better”

 

“Of course she does” Valentina grinned. “Is she coming back to the company?”

 

“She is not sure yet. Renata says it has it's advantages to not work at the same company. She's considering.” Guille explained with a shrug, he sounded a bit disappointed.

 

“But enough about that. Are we just casually having lunch with Rafaela or...?” Guille asked curiously.

 

“What do you mean?” Valentina asked innocently.

 

“You're doing it for Juliana right?” Guille concluded. Valentina just shrugged, but her expression gave her away.

 

"Ah, so we're on a mission, I see." Guille remarked with a cheeky grin towards his sister.

 

“Hola, you two” Rafaela interrupted them and they both got up, to give her a short hug and greet her.

 

“Wow, look at you. Guillermo!” Rafaela said, as she looked at Guille from top to bottom. “You're so grown up and handsome” Rafaela complimented him, what made Valentina almost burst out into laughter.

 

“Gracias Rafaela” Guille politely said, as they sat down. The waiter came back with Guille and Valentina's order and asked Rafaela, what she wanted, Rafaela ordered some tea.

 

“It's really nice to see you two again.” Rafaela exclaimed happily smiling. “How are you doing?”

 

“We're doing good, right?” Valentina answered and looked at Guille for confirmation.

 

“I'm happy to hear that, after all the drama that was in the media lately” Rafaela answered, shaking her head about the news. Guillermo and Valentina exchanged a quick look, wondering what news she was referring to exactly, because there were a lot.

 

“Yeah, it's been a bit rough for all of us, but you know, we're doing our best” Guille answered with a small smile.

 

“I see” Rafaela answered and nodded. “Let's order something to eat shall we?”

 

“Yes! I'm starving!” Guille exclaimed, while he waved at the waiter, who came up to them immediately.

 

They all ordered something to eat, before getting back to their conversation.

 

“By the way, Valentina. I've also seen your interview on Victoria” Rafaela admitted, taking a sip from her tea mug.  
Valentina froze and looked at Guille, who just shrugged, he didn't seem to be worried about it.

 

“You didn't tell me, you two were a couple, when you came to me, it was a little surprising to hear it on tv” Rafaela added.

 

“We weren't a couple back then” Valentina quickly corrected nervously.

 

“And are you a couple now?” Rafaela asked. “I mean, after your confession on a television show, I'd hope so”

 

Valentina helplessly looked at Guille, she did not know, whether it was good for her to be honest about it, since that could make Rafaela less fond of giving Juliana a scholarship, because it might look like Valentina just wanted to use her contacts to get her girlfriend into the school. Which of course was a little true, but not without reason. Valentina really thought Juliana was talented and judging by the talk they had with Rafaela earlier this year, Rafaela was convinced about this too already. When Valentina hesitated to answer, Rafaela just moved on with the conversation, not being bothered, that she did not get an answer from the girl.

 

“You know she did not apply for this semester right?” Rafaela asked directed at Valentina. “I was looking out for her application”

 

“Si, I know. And I actually wanted to talk about that with you” Valentina nervously confessed.

 

“Ok, go ahead then” Rafaela led her on with a kind smile and took another sip of her tea, patiently waiting for Valentina to say, what she had to say to her.

 

“She only missed the application time, because her mother was at the hospital and she was in a really bad condition. So, Juliana was at the hospital everyday basically.

 

I hoped, you might let her enter still. The semester did not start yet right? So maybe...you could make an exception. Juliana is very very talented. I'm sure you would not regret it.” Valentina tried her best at convincing Rafaela.

 

“She is really talented” Guille added, to help Valentina out.

 

“How is her mother doing now?” Rafaela simply asked, not letting her thoughts show in any way.

 

“Better, she is not at the hospital anymore.” Valentina replied. Rafaela nodded, to signalize that she had understood.

 

“Alright, let's see. I actually left a spot open for a scholarship, but she has to make an application for it, right away!” Rafaela accentuated the last words extra strongly.

 

Valentina nodded excitedly. “She will! I'll make sure of it, I promise!”

 

“I brought a form with me” Rafaela stated and pulled an envelope out of her bag. “She only has to fill out the gaps and hand it in” the woman added and handed the envelope to Valentina.

 

“Muchas Gracias, Rafaela. You won't regret it!” Valentina exclaimed excitedly and jumped up to hug Rafaela, who laughed about her reaction.

 

“I expect not to regret it, tell your girl!” Rafaela added with a chuckle, returning the hug.

 

*******

 

After Juliana had spend an hour, trying to finally get relaxed, she gave up on it, instead she decided to go for a run. It was to no use anyway, she was to restless, feeling on edge after the encounter with detective Montilla. In her mind she was constantly replaying the whole situation, trying to find the answers, she couldn't give him.

 

Asking herself, why she did not know any of those things? She should have had these answers, she had been there after all.  
Juliana anxiously ran a hand through her hair, the whole situation was so frustrating for her. She was in between wanting to remember everything and not remembering anything of it at all.

 

Panchito looked up from his paperwork, as she walked out of her room, he had probably heard her footsteps coming towards him.

 

“Are you leaving again already?” he asked surprised.

 

“I'm going for a run” Juliana answered.

 

Panchito nodded. “Ok”

 

Juliana told him, she would be back soon, before she left the flat. Outside the building, she hesitated, unsure if she should set a goal or destination she wanted to reach, or if she should just run for as long until she started to feel tired. She decided for the later. After all, she wasn't very familiar with the neighborhood they were living in now anyway, so Juliana didn't know any good places she could run to.

The girl started to run. It was still early, so fortunately it wasn't very hot yet. The street they lived in was completely empty, nobody was passing by her. The next street was more lively, but still pretty empty, a few people were walking around, still not many.

 

Juliana couldn't stop her thoughts from spinning around exactly what she didn't want to think about. The panic she had felt, when they had grabbed her from behind, while she was just walking down the street, in the middle of the day. The cloth they had pressed against her face, which had made her pass out. Every detail of what had happened was burned inside of her memory, making her unable to forget any of it. Yet there were still things, that were so blurry or washed out, that she couldn't say, if she remembered them right.

 

Juliana stopped, she was out of breath and she closed her eyes, willing the spiraling of her thoughts to finally stop.

 

She remembered waking up and right away figuring, what must have happened, that it must have been Alacran's men, who took her. The realization, that she couldn't give him, what he wanted from her, that she could not tell him where Chino was, because she did not know. If she was honest, at the time Juliana had not thought she would make it out of there alive. She was sure, she would die there. That they would kill her anyway, even if she would have known where Chino was and even if he would have turned himself in for her.

 

How she had turned away from Valentina and had not given her the slightest chance of explaining to her, what was up with her and Lucho. She had ignored all of her messages and calls. And then what had happened between herself and Sergio. It still made her stomach twist, when she thought about it. The guilt she had felt afterwards, washing all over her once again. Juliana still felt, like she had betrayed Valentina and that she in deed didn't deserve her forgiveness, after what she had done. Perhaps she did deserve what had happened, after betraying the person, she claimed to love so much.

 

Her eyes started burning with the sensation of hot tears, behind her closed lids.  
“Don't Cry. Don't Cry, Juliana. Don't Cry now.” She repeated in her thoughts. Taking deep breaths, as if it could stop her from crying, while she clenched her teeth.  
After she had managed not tot cry in front of her mother and Valentina the last couple of days, nor detective Montilla today, Juliana refused to let herself crumble now.

 

“Pull yourself together ,Juliana” she angrily mumbled to herself.

 

In the end, she came out of everything and was alright, more or less. The nightmares would pass eventually and she would be just fine, Juliana assured herself. How long had it even been? Almost two weeks, if she remembered it right.

She would be fine, as soon as she would just finally stop thinking about it. It didn't have to get to her like that, but somehow she allowed it to happen, because she didn't know, what to do about it.

 

Juliana opened her eyes, still fighting against the flood of tears and she started to run, or more accurately sprint. As fast as she possibly could. One street, two streets.....it took her eight full streets, until she couldn't go on anymore. Her lungs were painfully burning with the need for oxygen and every muscle in her legs seemed to hurt. It took the girl a while, to catch her breath and be able to look around to see where she had ended up. The most familiar thing she spotted, was a little supermarket, so she at least had a vague idea of where she was. The safe way although, was to just walk the way back, she had run until she had ended up here. After all, she did not want to get lost in a place she wasn't very familiar with. Since she have had a couple of minutes to breathe now, she decided to just jog back, and sprint the last couple of streets again.

 

She walked the last few meters back home and entered the building, quickly jumping up the stairs, two at a time and then she entered the flat. Panchito was still sitting at the table, like he had done, before she had left. Her mother stood next to him with a cup of something in her hands.  
They both looked at her, when she came in and was still out of breath.

 

“Hola” Lupita said, lifting her brows at the sight of her totally worn out daughter. “Do you want a glass of water?” Lupita asked.  
Juliana was too out of breath to even greet her. Her daughter simply shook her head.  
“I'll go...have..a..shower” Juliana barely managed to get the words out between heavy breaths. Lupita nodded and did not say anything more, before she looked at Panchito, who looked back at her a bit unsure of what to say himself.  
“If it helps” he then stated with a shrug.

 

Juliana left them alone and entered the bathroom.

 

Her deep brown eyes rested for a brief instant on her reflection. She hadn't been aware of it until now, but she really looked rather bad. Pale and tired, her eyes underlined by dark shadows.

 

Did she really feel this bad? Juliana questioned herself quietly, letting her eyes wander further over her own currently very chaotic appearance. No, she didn't. She shouldn't. She was fine.

 

She turned away from the mirror and started getting out of her clothes, tossing them carelessly on the floor. Entering the shower, she turned it on hot, perhaps a little to hot. Since she had no energy left to really scrub herself, she just leaned onto the wall and let the hot water wash over her. After a while of just standing there, she sank down, sitting there in the shower until the water turned cold at one point.

 

Juliana couldn't decide what was more calming to her, the pain of the hot water, or the numbing of the cold water.

 

*******

  
The doorbell rang and Juliana jumped up from her bed, she already knew it was Valentina, because she had received a text from her about 10 minutes ago, saying that they had finished lunch and she could come over now.

 

“I'll get it” Juliana shouted, so her mother and Panchito would not open.

 

Valentina was already smiling widely, when Juliana opened the door.

 

“Hey” Valentina greeted and hugged her girlfriend tightly. Although she actually really wanted to kiss her, she didn't do it for now. Lupita might have changed her mind about their relationship, but they did not have to shove it in her face.

 

“Hey, how was your lunch?” Juliana asked, meanwhile she closed the door behind the other girl.

 

“It was good, what did you do?” Valentina asked back,

 

“Eh..not much. Nothing interesting” Juliana shrugged.

 

“Is everything alright?” Valentina asked, frowning. Juliana was still amazed at how fast Valentina sensed, when something was bothering her, even if she tried her best to act normal.

 

“Montilla was here” Juliana stated tensely. “Come, let's not talk about this here” Juliana quickly added and signalized Valentina to follow her into her room, just in case, so that her mother and Panchito would not hear them.

 

“What did Montilla want? Did something happen?” Valentina questioned right after Juliana had shut the door behind them.

 

“No, he wanted me to answer some questions” Juliana shrugged again.

 

“What questions? Did you talk to him?” Valentina wanted to know, wondering if Juliana would be willing to talk to Montilla about the things, she did not want to talk about with her.

 

“A lot of questions. I don't know, he did not ask them all. I talked to him for a bit. Then Panchito basically kicked him out” Juliana explained, as they sat down on her bed.

 

“What?” Valentina asked surprised by the fact, that Panchito would do something like that. She had always expected Panchito to be totally friendly and calm all of the time and she couldn't picture him kicking someone out. Which led to the question what Montilla must have done or dared to say, to make a guy as calm as Panchito get so angry at him.

 

“Panchito kicked him out? What did Montilla say to you?”

 

Juliana did nothing but shrug, she didn't really know, how to put into words what he had said. And the truth was, she did not want to repeat his words.

 

“Seriously, Juls. What did he say?” Valentina asked again, knowing that it must have been something unsettling or hurtful for Juliana.

 

“Nothing. It's not important” Juliana put it off.

 

“Panchito surely wouldn't get angry, if it was nothing” Valentina pushed.

 

Juliana looked at Valentina, obviously debating, if she had to tell her.

 

“Juls” Valentina pleaded. “Come one, it's me”

 

“He said I should have had a medical examination and that Cartel men like to.....you know” Juliana closed her eyes at the last words, she couldn't look Valentina in the eye saying this, or better said hinting at it, because she couldn't even say it out loud.

 

“But should you have had one?” Valentina asked unsettled, her question was not straight ahead, so she added another.

 

“I mean did they...?” Valentina's voice cracked, she couldn't say it out loud. Couldn't bear to actually ask Juliana, if they had raped her. Maybe she couldn't do it, because a part of her feared, that she would say yes.

 

“What? God, no. No. No, don't even ask me that!” Juliana responded rapidly and defensively, at the same time. There was something in the tone of her voice though, that told Valentina, there actually was something more. That maybe it wasn't as simple as a yes or no question.

 

“So they didn't touch you?” Valentina was confused, if Juliana meant they did not do it, or that she did not want to hear this question.

 

The question alone was disgusting enough, let alone the thought of, how close she had actually come to it happening for real. If Chino had not called, they would have done it, she was sure. Juliana could feel the shiver slowly running down her whole body and Valentina seemed to notice too.

 

“Ok, I'm sorry. Sorry. You don't have to answer that.” Valentina apologized, while she reached out, to caress Juliana's neck, to make her go back to ease. “I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry.”

 

“No, I should be sorry. I'm just....stressed, I guess. I'm sorry” Juliana said, having trouble to even describe how she was feeling. She felt pressured somehow, it was a very distinctive feeling, but she could not put it into words, so she did not try any further.

 

“It's alright. You don't need to apologize.” Valentina said in a soft voice, while she continued gently stroking over Juliana's neck.

 

“I have something to cheer you up!” Valentina announced, she reached for her purse and pulled out the big beige envelope, handing it to Juliana with a smile.

 

“What is it?” Juliana asked with a frown.

 

“Open it” Valentina prompted excitedly. Juliana did as she was told, opening it and pulling the bundle of sheets out, that was inside. It was an application form for a scholarship. She flipped through the pages, noticing that it had been already stamped and signed by Rafaela. Juliana couldn't believe what she was seeing.

 

“Wow, that's incredible, Val” Juliana said, her brown eyes wandering over the paper in disbelieve.  
“But the application period is over. How did you?” Juliana asked, absolutely stunned.

 

Valentina shrugged, a big grin on her face. “I can be very convincing you know”

 

“Yeah, I know” Juliana had to laugh, but it was actually very true, Valentina could be quite convincing, if she wanted to be.

 

“You're amazing” Juliana admitted, before she leaned closer to kiss her counterpart. Valentina instantly held onto her, making her move even closer, all while not breaking the kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations for making it this far, and through this insanely long chapter. 
> 
> Leave me some feedback if you want to, I'm always happy to see new comments.
> 
> And of course thanks for reading!


	9. Paying a visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! So guys, sorry that I kept you waiting for so long. I worked on this chapter for way too long, I don't even know why.  
> Then I was almost finished before christmas, convinced I would update christmas day at best, and I got sick. (still sick by the way)  
> I know this chapter is far from being christmasy, I hope you enjoy the update anyways.

Valentina let her head drop back to the wall behind her and breathed out loudly in an attempt to lower the stress she was feeling, sadly with very little success. Guille was talking to Eva's lawyer, who had just visited their older sister before them. Valentina sighed, she felt stressed about even being in this place, but she wanted to support Eva and be there for her. Because after all, she still loved her sister and despite what she had said to her, after Juliana had broken up with her, Valentina did not want her sister to end up lonely. 

Valentina wasn't the type of person to wish something bad upon others, maybe in the heat of the moment, but never truly. She had just been so hurt, of losing Juliana, because of Eva's actions towards the younger girl.  
The girl still felt uncomfortable about her relationship with Juliana, at least in regards to Eva. She just didn't know how to handle it, if she should simply not mention her girlfriend at all, or if she should try to convince her sister, to like Juliana. Maybe Eva could like Juliana, if she would give her a chance, to get to know her. Valentina knew Eva probably didn't mean to hurt her after all. At first she had trouble believing that she had fallen in love with another woman too. But Valentina had honestly never loved anyone as much as she loved Juliana and more importantly, Juliana made her feel loved, which was something, she had not experienced before, at least not like that, not with a lover.

“Ok, gracias. See you, tomorrow!” Guille said his goodbyes to the lawyer and came back over to Valentina. 

“Ready to go in?” he asked.

“No” Valentina answered honestly. “But I guess that won't change so...” 

“Look, I know it's hard. But it won't be as bad, as you might think now.” Guille tried to calm her nerves down. “I'm here, and if it's too much for you, we can always leave ok?”

“I know” Valentina answered, taking in a deep breath. Guille looked over her one more time, most likely checking that she was still ok with visiting Eva.

“Vamos!” Guille suggested with an encouraging smile. Valentina nodded and got up from her seat.

 

“Hola, Guille. Hola, Vale” Eva greeted them, after they had sat down. Her smile was faint, as she watched her little sister through the glass, yet she seemed kind of happy or maybe rather relieved to finally see Valentina.

“Hola, Eva” Guille greeted her back with a friendly smile.

“Hey” Valentina greeted her sister somewhat hesitantly and tried her best to return her smile.. Valentina noticed right away, how Eva looked different, than usual, more reserved and insecure, not as intimidating and strong as she used to before this.

“How are you doing?” Guille asked straight away.

“The same as last time.....I'm ok. I'm still not used to it, but that's normal I guess. I mean, it is not exactly a five-star hotel”

Guille had to smirk about the last comment, which had probably been Eva's intention. Valentina couldn't even imagine, how it must feel like to be in there, locked up with a bunch of criminals. Then she remembered that Eva was in there for a reason, that she actually was a criminal too, by definition.

Maybe Guille was just pretending to find it funny, to lighten up the mood, Valentina thought, as she watched him, while he interacted with their sister. It was weird to see him acting so kind and considerate with Eva, after he was basically fighting her for the last couple of months over every Life decision he made. 

“I'm really happy you're here, Vale” Eva then confessed, looking directly at Valentina again, who couldn't look her sister in the eyes for more than two seconds.   
She was getting awfully nervous and broke the eye contact.   
Valentina didn't know what to reply, she couldn't exactly say that she was happy to be there. After all, it was a prison, a place she could never have imagined going to, or even visiting.   
So she just nodded, with a not very convincing and faint smile.

Maybe it was a mistake, she had come here today, Valentina thought to herself. She had nothing to say to her sister. There was nothing she could talk about with her. No reason for her to be here in the first place.   
How was she supposed to show Eva, that she still cared about her and would be there for her, when she couldn't even look her in the eyes. 

“Vale?” Guille suddenly asked, looking expectantly at her, as did Eva.

“Eh....perdon, what did you say?” Valentina asked, lightly shaking her head, realizing that she had totally neglected their conversation, getting lost in her own thoughts.   
Eva's eyes rested on Valentina and it made Val extremely uncomfortable at this point.   
Could Eva see how uncomfortable she was? Could she see how much she wished to be somewhere...well, really anywhere else, except for here right now.

“How is college going?” Guille repeated the question.

“Oh, I actually.....haven't been there lately...” Valentina admitted a bit insecure, she just hoped they wouldn't scold her about it. Of course she knew, she should be responsible and go back to college, but she was still affected by everything that had happened.   
Her mind was still so packed with everything else, that college just had not been her priority. 

Guille nodded understandingly and Eva did the same, but none of them said anything, much to Valentina's surprise. The silence was almost killing Valentina. And it was hard to bear to sit opposite her sister, with a piece of glass separating them, making them completely unable to touch each other. 

Eva looked down at her own hands, before she out of nowhere asked:

“How are things with.....Juliana, was it?” 

Valentina immediately stiffened on her seat and opened her mouth to say something, but there were no words coming out.   
What was she supposed to say? Did she want Eva to know, they were back together. Would Eva accept it now. Would Juliana approve of Eva knowing? Why did she not think about something to say beforehand? Now she felt stupid for not thinking about something to say, in case Eva really asked her about Juliana. Perhaps she thought Eva wouldn't ask about her anyway.

Then Valentina suddenly realized, that of course Eva had seen the Interview. They hadn't talked about it, but she must have seen it or at least heard about it. Valentina felt utterly uncomfortable to know, that Eva might have seen it, she had not wasted a thought about it until this moment. There had been so much going on at the time, that she did not think, who could have seen it at all. Naturally she had known, that really anybody could possibly see it, which did not mean, she had thought about who in particular.  
Now she wondered why Eva was even asking her about Juliana. Did Eva just want to know, so she could tell Valentina this relationship was wrong again. Would she be mad, when Valentina would tell her, they were back together again. And did, what Valentina had said on TV, change anything about what Eva thought about their relationship?

Valentina did not want to give any kind of answer, but she also wanted to stand by her relationship. Unsure what to do or say in this situation, she threw a helpless glance towards Guille, who quickly jumped to help her out.

“Ah, I haven't told you yet, but Renata and I plan to travel a bit soon” Guille all of a sudden exclaimed. Eva's eyes still rested on the younger girl, as if she wanted to say something else, but she held back. Valentina did not dare to look Eva in the eyes any longer. So Eva finally moved her focus over to Guille.

“Where to?” she questioned him.

Guille shrugged “We're still planning. And Renata still needs to find someone to look after Tlacoyo” 

“Tlacoyo?” Eva asked confusedly, scrunching her brows.

“Her cat” Guille smirked at Eva's confused expression. 

Valentina felt guilty, she had promised Eva, that she could count on her for whatever was to come, then she did not even show up to visit her for almost two weeks and now she was here and did not know a single word to say to her sister. 

“Vale?” Eva called out this time, again pulling the younger girl out of her thoughts. 

Valentina looked up at her. “I'm sorry. I just don't know what to say” Valentina admitted now apologetically. 

“It's ok” Eva answered and even gave her sister a small smile. “It's not easy, I know”  
Valentina nodded slightly.

“How is it?” she then asked Eva and tried to pull herself together, for her sister's sake.

“Being in prison?” Eva asked back “I've been better places” 

Valentina looked down again, mostly to not let Eva see the tears in her eyes. She felt so incredibly sorry for her older sister and there was nothing she could do about it. Guille gently squeezed Valentina's arm. 

“Did you get the books I left for you last time?” Guille wanted to know from Eva. 

“Si, I got them, I already read half of them” Eva explained shortly.

“Wow, that's fast even for you” Guille remarked. “I should have brought you some more today”

“It's fine, I can still read them again” Eva smiled sadly at him. 

“How is papa?” Eva added as she leaned forward a bit, so she could speak quieter. After all for the rest of the world, their father was dead. 

Guille raised his brows, unsure how to describe it.   
“He is....” Guille stopped, searching for the right words.

“He is walking around the house like a zombie” Valentina stated, without looking up, her blue eyes fixated on the frame of the glass between her sister and her. There was no use in lying about it. Their father was as far from being all right, as either of them.  
Eva looked at Guille for confirmation. 

“That's fitting” Guille hesitantly acknowledged Valentina's words with a short nod.

“He has nothing to do, now that he can be himself again, I guess.” Eva commented with a shrug.

“It's not that easy, Eva. I mean, he can not be Leon Carvajal again” Guille clarified. “He can't just get his life back like it was before and do everything like he used to do it”

“Well, to be fair, none of us can, right?” Valentina then stated dryly, for a brief instant she looked at her siblings, before she focused on the the frame of the glass again. 

They appeared to be a bit shaken by her statement. Then they exchanged a quick look. It was this worry packed look, they always exchanged, when Valentina had said or done something dark or concerning. 

“Sorry” Valentina whispered an apology to them, once she realized, how that must have sounded for her siblings. She had never intended to make anyone worry, but the way she had reacted to things in the past, was still stuck inside their heads, so it was only natural for them to be concerned about her, especially since she was the youngest of them and they felt the need to protect her.

“No. You're right. No need to sugar coat it.” Eva admitted, sounding a bit worried still. The woman had no chance at knowing, how her sister was really doing, because they have had zero contact for the last two weeks. 

Guille still observed Valentina, like he was trying to figure out, whether she was actually ok. But he obviously didn't know what to say, or maybe he did not want to ask her, considering where they were. They all were silent, caught up in their own thoughts and Valentina regretted what she had said, because the silence was even more painful than any conversation they could have had. 

One of the guards suddenly stepped up and announced: “Visiting time is over in 5 minutes”

Valentina looked at him, feeling completely shattered. Then she looked at Eva, who gave her a wary smile. 

“It's ok” the eldest sibling stated. Perhaps Valentina was too sensitive, but seeing Eva trying to act, like this whole thing wasn't deeply affecting her, was breaking Valentina. It was like everyone around her was shattered, while they all pretended to be fine. Juliana, her father, Eva...

Valentina would have expected Eva to cry, maybe be mad at her for not showing up for so long. She could have screamed at her and it would have made Valentina less uncomfortable, than this shattered calmness of her sister. All of the confidence Eva had always shown in front of her, it was just gone at this moment.

“How is the baby?” Guille then asked, pulling Valentina back out of her thoughts. And she even looked at Eva again. Valentina had completely put aside the knowledge, that Eva was pregnant. It made the thought of her being in prison even more unbearable to the younger girl.

“We're both fine” Eva answered, with a grateful smile. “Thank you, for asking” 

“That's good” Guille remarked and nodded slowly, meanwhile he smiled a little.

“I guess, we have to go now. I'll try to come by again sometime this week, if I can manage” Guille stated. 

“I'll get you more books for next time. If you need anything else, give me a call, ok?” he added, before finally getting up.

“Goodbye” Eva said to both of them, watching how her siblings got up to leave the prison again, a thing she wouldn't be able to do for presumably the next couple of years.

“See you soon” Guille said as his goodbyes. 

“Goodbye” Valentina said to Eva with a sad smile, it was the best she could manage to show right now.

“Gracias, for coming today, Vale. I know it probably........wasn't easy.... But it meant a lot.”

Eva tried to smile, but her eyes were teary throughout her words and Valentina had to swallow hard to not break out in tears herself straightaway. Normally Valentina would have hugged her sister and she would have told her, that everything would be fine, there was just this stupid glass between them, separating them, leaving them unable to be close to each other. Valentina mimicked Eva and tried to smile at her sister, before they finally turned to leave. 

It was way too much for her, the whole situation, was nerve wrecking. Valentina could feel tears streaming down her face, before the door had even been shut behind them. She just wanted to leave this place as fast as possible and only realized, how fast she was really walking, when Guille called out her name from behind her, because he had trouble keeping up with her pace: “Vale, slow down” 

“Hey, hey, hey!” Guille exclaimed, his voice softened right away, when he noticed that she was crying. He quickly walked over to her. 

“Come here” he begged her and pulled his little sister into a hug, as she started to cry even harder. “It will be fine” Guille assured, gently stroking over her head, as he let her cry into his shoulder. 

“She won't be in here forever, ok?” Guille said, while Valentina leaned against him, trembling with every sob. 

“I know.” Valentina whined, annoyed at herself for being so overly sensitive sometimes. But that was just the way she was, being compassionate and sensitive was something she couldn't shut off. Even though, at times she wished, she could, especially times like these, when it hurt her deeply to see someone she cared about suffer. And she had seen a lot of that lately, with her father, Juliana and now Eva as well.

“Sorry, I just want to leave... I can't...” Valentina stuttered and heavily shook her head, between sobs, not able to finish her sentence.

“Alright, let's go” Guille softly suggested and Valentina nodded, while she rubbed the tears of her face, to no use because they just continued streaming down. 

“You want me to drive you home?” Guille asked, once he had sat down in the driver seat. Valentina was still sobbing. “I could drive you to Juliana, if you want me to” he suggested concernedly. “Maybe you should call her?” 

“I just want to go home” Valentina replied, her voice sounded raspy from crying. She couldn't deal with anything right now, she just wanted to get back to bed and stay there at least for the day. It was not, like she did not want to see Juliana or hide anything from her, but she was just so emotionally exhausted at this moment, that she could not even think straight.

“Ok, fine.” Guille softly responded and gave her a compassionate look, before he started the car.

Valentina was just absently staring out of the window of the passenger seat for most of the drive. Her body was still occasionally shaken by an almost silent sob, while the tears did not stop for a single second. Valentina ignored the repeated vibrating of her phone, telling her that someone was texting her. She just wanted to shut the world out and be alone with her feelings. Guille looked over to her from time to time, but he did not say anything, he just left her some space, which she was quite grateful for. Valentina was not in the mood to talk right now, she just wanted to get as far away from the prison, as she possibly could right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For everyone of you, who wonderes, I will absolutely continue working on this story and it is not finished until I say otherwise. I still have a bunch of ideas, you can still leave some of yours in the comments, if you'd like to. If they are fitting for the story I might write them in.   
> And as always leave me some comments, if you like to, I always enjoy reading what you guys have to say!


End file.
